It’s the Friday before Thanksgiving and you know what that means… It’s Grey Friday!

That’s right, not quite Black Friday, but plenty of companies are fine starting their holiday bargains on, like, November 13th. 

So, put away those Bass Pro Shop waders and pull up a chair, it’s crypto time!

Espresso Shots

☕️ Sam Bankman-Fried Hacked His Own Company! 🚨 💻

In an emergency court filing on Thursday evening - FTX revealed that it believes Sam Bankman-Fried hacked his own company and sent funds directly to Bahamian officials.

This unauthorized access by Bankman-Fried happened after he left the company and was reportedly at the direction of Bahmian authorities. 

FTX alleges Bankman-Fried was in-custody at the time of the unauthorized transfer of funds. 

These actions took place after FTX filed for bankruptcy and, at the time, the mass transfer of funds was thought to be a hack. 

This is just the latest development in what has rapidly become the most shocking story crypto has ever seen. We’ll keep you up to date as this story develops.

☕️ Bitcoin to 250k??? 💰 📈

Despite the turbulence from the collapse of FTX, Billionaire investor Tim Draper still believes that Bitcoin will rise to $250,000 in 2023.

Draper initially made his prediction back in 2018, but as recently as an interview last Tuesday, stated, “No change in price prediction. Still $250,000 by early next year.”

Draper feels that FTX’s failure is unrelated to Bitcoin’s potential success, as Bitcoin is decentralized. He expects recent events to push more investors toward Bitcoin. 

Another man that feels secure in his predictions is Back to the Future director, Robert Zemeckis, who, despite everything that happened with FTX, still insists we’ll have hoverboards and self-tying shoes by 2015.

☕️ Coinbase Airs its Grievances! 🗣 📰

In a move straight out of AMC’s Madmen, Coinbase bought a full page ad in the WSJ to insist that they’re not like those other guys. You know the ones.

The headline reads, “Trust Us.” And after some allusions to the crypto space’s recent problems, dives into a list of what separates Coinbase from the, “bad actors.”

Included in their list of differentiating factors: “We are headquartered in the United States.” “We hold our customers’ assets 1:1.”

They also pointedly mention: “We don’t trade against our customers, and we don’t leverage their funds without consent.” Can’t think of who that might be about…

Coinbase ends their ad with an emphatic call for regulators to finally do something. 

As Coinbase’s advertising continues to employ retro strategies, we expect telegraphs and an army of carrier pigeons by early December.

Spilling the Beans

Juicy details from the FTX court filings! 😲

In the midst of what now seems to be the worst corporate collapse in history, a bombshell bankruptcy filing has been released. 

The filing is from the newly appointed bankruptcy CEO, John J. Ray III - who first rose to fame from his Enron dealings. In short, this is a guy who cradles dying companies to sleep. 

And in his expert opinion, FTX is an absolute mess. Here’s a quote: 

“Never in my career have I seen such a complete failure of corporate controls and such a complete absence of trustworthy financial information as occurred here.”

Well that’s… damning. In a 26 page filing, Ray went on to list just how bad things were over at FTX. Here is some of the absolute worst from the report:

• Requests for employee expenses were approved by emoji in an online chatroom. 

• Corporate funds were used to purchase private homes and personal items for employees. 

• Ray said a substantial portion of company assets may be missing or stolen.

• Alameda Research lent Sam Bankman-Fried $1 billion personally.

• Sam Bankman-Fried communicated by using applications that were set to auto-delete after a short period of time - which is maybe not a great way to keep records! 

• The company had almost no idea how much money it had - they didn’t even have an accurate list of their own bank accounts

• The company does not have an accurate list of who works for the company or the terms of their employment.

• Sam Bankman-Fried had software in place to conceal the misuse of customer funds.

So basically - holy shit. It really does seem lik every single day that passes, we learn some new and uniquely horrifying facts from this case. 

John J Ray III - sick name by the way - also took a few swings at FTX’s former leaders.

At one point in the filing he called those running the company: inexperienced, unsophisticated and potentially compromised individuals.

Ray wrapped up the filing with an emphatic “and stay out!” to FTX founder and former CEO Sam Bankman-Fried. 

Ray reminds Sam Bankman-Fried that no longer works for the company or speaks for it. 

He goes on to mention that despite all of this, Bankman-Fried continues to make erratic and misleading public statements. 

There’s a hell of a lot more in these reports and it’s all well worth checking out. Take a look at the full court filing here.

And if you’re not a huge fan of reading court documents - it’s not for everyone - check out this article from The Guardian.

Meme of the Day

He's killing this thing one way or another!

The Last Sip

Despite everything, Tim Draper stands firm that Bitcoin will rise to $250,000 in 2023. We’ve compiled three of the financial Nostradamus’s other predictions.

1. In 2019, a wombat will bite a platypus in Australia. This platypus will be consumed in an Australian wet market, plunging the world into a global pandemic. Wow, so close.

2. Brendan Fraser will make a triumphant return to cinema with a Mummy reboot. Not yet, but soon.

3. Low-rise jeans will make a comeback. Okay, this guy might actually have the sight.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.