What does the White House think about crypto? Don’t worry, we’ll answer that question by the end of this newsletter. But perhaps just as important, why is the White House white?

It has nothing to do with the British burning it down that one time, we checked. It’s because it’s been covered in a porous, weather-resistant lime-based white wash since 1798.

You were hoping for a cultural answer instead of a practical one, huh? Well, too bad. But don’t worry, this White House’s stance on crypto is a lot more interesting.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Bitcoin Stalls Out 📉 😐

After a bull run that had everyone excited, Bitcoin has dropped to a seven week low, hovering around and just below $20,000.

Investors and speculators believe this drop is directly tied to the fallout and voluntary liquidation of crypto bank Silvergate.

With Silvergate gone, it’s going to be tough to convince new investors entering the space that there’s a solid place for them to make deposits and other crypto-related payments.

In fact, Silvergate was the last stronghold for many who were holding long positions on Bitcoin. Yesterday, roughly $60 million in Bitcoin positions were liquidated in 24 hours as investors finally pulled up their stakes and headed home.

Hopefully, like all abandoned banks that hurt their communities, the empty shell of Silvergate will one day become a skate park and graffiti gallery.

☕️ Gun Nuts Pro Crypto? 🪙 🔫

Gun lobbyists have been arguing against legislation that would no longer designate crypto as money, because it would criminalize buying guns with digital currency.

“While it may not seem like a Second Amendment-related issue at first glance, it impacts our freedom to pay for firearms in the way we choose."

"This bill would effectively prohibit people from using cryptocurrency to purchase firearms,” reads a statement from the GOA’s (Gun Owners of America) official website.

We’re always pro-crypto, but purchasing guns and the anonymity afforded by digital currency may not be a match made in heaven.

Though the gun lobby are a famously even-tempered and apolitical group, it’s nice to see them getting fired up in defense of crypto instead of focusing on getting RPGs in the hands of substitute teachers.

☕️ Starbucks Serving Up Hot NFTs ☕️ 🧜‍♀️

In addition to Starbucks’ latest Web3 venture, the Starbucks Odyssey Rewards program, Starbucks will release a limited edition “Siren Collection” of NFTs.

The NFTs will feature the Starbucks mermaid aka “The Siren,” and the 2,000 piece collection will start at $100 a pop. Points from purchases of the Siren Collection will also carry over to users’ Starbucks Odyssey Rewards account.

“As Starbucks has grown over the years, the Siren has been right there with us, adapting and evolving to reflect brand and culture,” said an official spokesperson.

The Siren imagery on the NFT depicts their mascot as a “super mermaid,” tracing “her journey from local Seattle celebrity to revered global icon.”

In classic Starbucks fashion, the NFTs will be quickly and efficiently delivered to your wallet, but your name will be spelled wrong.

Spilling the Beans

The White House on Crypto 🇺🇸

We hear what the SEC thinks about crypto almost every day. In short: they don’t like it.

The SEC is determined to see all cryptocurrencies blindly treated as securities, despite the fact that they don’t fit cleanly into that classification.

When these currencies don’t register as securities with the SEC, they get hit with convoluted lawsuits and eventually settle out of court.

But one governmental body, the most public-facing governmental body in the United States has remained conspicuously quiet.

The Biden administration is supposed to be the mouthpiece of the federal government, but those lips have stayed surprisingly silent on the topic of crypto.

So what do we know about Biden’s crypto stance? Let’s get into it.

Last September, the White House published a series of reports detailing their view on crypto and the actions they intended to take to safeguard the finances of the American public.

There were initially six reports at the release, published by the Treasury Department, the Justice Department, and the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.

This was later brought up to a grand total of nine reports with three later, additional contributions from the Treasury Department.

And all of these Departments proudly titled their collected reports, “The First-Ever Framework for Responsible Development of Digital Assets.”

And what did the reports say?

Well, we’ll hit you with the key takeaways.

The Justice Department announced its intent to launch the “Digital Asset Coordinator Network,” a group of 150 federal prosecutors dedicated to preventing, monitoring, and ultimately investigating and prosecuting crypto crimes.

Another one of the clearest sentiments in the reports came from Brian Deese, the National Economic Council Director and National Security Advisor, Jake Sullivan.

“Together, we are laying the groundwork for a thoughtful, comprehensive approach to mitigating digital assets’ acute risks and – where proven – harnessing their benefits. We remain committed to working with allies, partners, and the broader digital asset community to shape the future of this ecosystem,” read their joint statement.

So, in short, these reports seem to oscillate between creating the security needed to deal with the threats posed by crypto while simultaneously creating a nurturing environment where American crypto can grow.

But in some ways, this sort of waffling was to be expected, particularly from a President with a strong history as a centrist.

These reports were written in response to an executive order by President Biden in March of 2022. And the content of these reports mirrors the tone of the initial order.

The order sought to both create the oversight that would allow for further crypto security, but again, it wouldn’t be very American to erase an entire industry just because it seems a little volatile and scary.

In some ways, playing both sides of the aisle is quintessential Biden, and we can’t expect this administration to say anything groundbreaking or revolutionary on a topic they probably don’t fully understand.

But as crypto becomes more and more mainstream, it’s also only going to get more political. The Biden Administration can only retain their cautious optimism and neutrality for so long.

Which oddly, brings us to yesterday: Thursday, March 9th. Despite virtual radio silence on crypto for the better part of this past year, Biden’s new budget included multiple mentions of crypto.

While most were small changes cleaning up loopholes, one stood out: A 30% tax increase on the energy used by crypto mining facilities. 

In the words of the Treasury Department, “tax on electricity usage by digital asset miners could reduce mining activity along with its associated environmental impacts and other harms.” 

The backlash among crypto miners was, of course, instant. It’s becoming clear that Crypto will almost certainly be a big ticket item in the 2024 election cycle.

In fact, the Biden Administration may have to become positively hostile when Sam Bankman-Fried beats the charges and announces his bid for kid president.

Meme of the Day

Now, folks, listen up. This Bitcoin guy better not do any malarkey or I'll kick his ass.

Crypto 101

Securities: In finance, securities are any certificate or financial instrument that can be traded and has monetary value. Classic examples of this would be stocks or bonds.

There has been a big push from American regulators to treat crypto as a security, even though crypto functions fundamentally differently, particularly given tokens have utility.

Still, that has not stopped the SEC with slapping several firms and exchanges with “unregistered securities” lawsuits.

The Last Sip

If we can’t use crypto to anonymously purchase firearms, that means the government is coming for our rights. Here are some other anonymous purchases that we believe should be constitutionally protected:

• Embarrassing Marital Aids

• That Cologuard Test where you poop in a box

• Hard drugs

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.