The conflict between Ukraine and Russia wages on, but without America’s loudest social media warriors posting about it anymore, you might think the war is over.

In fact, It’s far from over. And the latest entity caught in the crossfires may be Ukraine’s burgeoning crypto industry.

However, the threat to Ukraine’s crypto isn’t coming from Russian troops, but Ukraine itself.

For Ukrainian crypto, it’s not a border dispute or a battle over territory, it’s a war at home.

A Word Foam Our Sponsor

There’s still time to enter our Trezor Wallet giveaway!

Whether you’ve been a part of this community since the beginning or this is one of your first newsletters, you’re all about to be on board for a big Coffee & Crypto first.

We’re partnering with Trezor Wallets in our first giveaway!

To participate, all you have to do is refer a friend to Coffee & Crypto and you’ll be automatically entered for a chance to win one of five Trezor Model One Cold Wallets!

This is a win-win. You get to spread the good word of Coffee & Crypto while potentially winning a top-of-the-line cold wallet.

We wish we were you. They won’t let staff enter the raffle.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Defense Bill Spells Trouble for Stablecoins 🪙 🛡

As several crypto bills trudge their way through Congress, a new defense bill may cause serious issues for stablecoins.

The defense bill contains amendments to the National Defense Authorization Act, which could create a compliance nightmare for stablecoins.

The adjustments to the current Know Your Customer and anti-money-laundering regulations would devastate stablecoins such as Circle’s USD Coin and Bitcoin Cash.

“The amendment would require the U.S. Treasury Secretary to ‘establish examination standards for crypto assets’ that would help regulators to ensure compliance with money laundering and sanctions laws,” Berenberg Analyst Mark Palmer wrote in a note provided to Cointelegraph. “Such an outcome would likely cause further deterioration in USDC’s market cap,” the note continued.

It’s just like Al Gore warned us. If the USDC market caps melt, the water levels will rise, and soon, Coinbase headquarters will be completely underwater.

☕️ Bitcoin for Kens? 🪙 🤵

Margot Robbie, the star of Mattel’s “Barbie” movie, has decried Bitcoin as “Ken” behavior.

In a panel hosted by Fandango, Margot Robbie discussed how she and director Greta Gerwig would mock Robbie’s husband Tom Ackerly, in addition to Producer David Heyman for the two men’s frequent discussions of cryptocurrency.

“When David and Tom would start talking about Bitcoin or something, Greta and I would be like, ‘They’re being such Kens,’” said Robbie. “Just stop being Kens!”

Now, according to the Barbie Movie, Kens engage in stereotypically male behavior, such as getting day drunk off light beers or giving unsolicited synopses of “The Godfather.”

But Robbie’s comments don’t seem in line with Mattel’s own vision, as the company is rolling out its own Barbie NFT collection in collaboration with Boss Beauties.

Here’s hoping that Mattel blindly charges ahead and releases a “Crypto Barbie,” complete with gaming chair and disposable vape, that says fun phrases like “GM GM” and “I’m bullish on Web3.”

☕️ Ralph Lauren Goes “Phygital” 👕 💻

Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is rolling out the Polo P-Wing Boot, a “phygital” tie-in with the brand’s in-game Fortnite cosmetics.

“Our gut is that it will be available for just a few minutes, because it’s the kind of thing that will sell out,” said a spokesperson from Ralph Lauren. “Our hope is that this will be something that will go quickly, if people are engaged with ‘Fortnite’ and engaged with the experience.”

Purchase of the new boot will include a Fortnite download so that you, and your avatar, can dress like an East-coast native.

To support the boot sale, Ralph Lauren is also opening the “Race to Greatness by Polo Ralph Lauren” custom event in Fortnite, which will feature custom locations based on Ralph Lauren runway shows.

If this PR stunt fails, Ralph Lauren may be forced to roll out its new “Prep School Villain” and “Do You Know Who My Father Is?” lines early.

Spilling the Beans

Ukraine Is Losing Its Crypto War 🇺🇦 😵

In February 2022, the Russian invasion of Ukraine caught the world’s attention and prompted strong reactions throughout the world.

But not a World War-style global response. Yes, the UN issued an official condemnation of Russia’s actions, but even the world’s superpowers tip-toe around Russia. They’ve got so many nuclear weapons they can destroy the earth in the time it takes to say “nyet.”

No, the global response came in the form of charitable donations and humanitarian efforts toward Ukraine.

But this influx of political action entered an ongoing dispute that had been going on since 2014. In varying stages, Russia and Ukraine have been fighting over Ukraine’s sovereignty for nearly a decade.

Tens of thousands of lives have been lost on both sides, and February’s martial action has resulted in over 8 million refugees fleeing Ukraine.

But we’re not about to hit you with a hot take about how “war is bad,” we’re a crypto newsletter. So we’re going to talk about crypto.

Crypto’s already been part of the dialogue for the humanitarian efforts toward Ukraine. More than $70 million in crypto was donated since the invasion began.

But like U.S. soldiers returning from Vietnam, instead of a hero’s welcome, crypto in Ukraine will receive a door slammed in its face.

And the crypto prosecution isn’t coming from the Russian invaders, it’s coming from Ukraine itself.

Amid a war with Russia, the Ukrainian government has demanded its four largest crypto firms provide financial statements for the first half of 2023.

Those Ukrainian firms are Kuna, GEO Pay, Qmall, and CoinPay. The financial statements requested from the National Bank of Ukraine (NBU) include operating volumes for the first two quarters of 2023, in addition to receipts and transfers for all accounts.

The four exchanges have been given just seven days to comply.

Kuna CEO Michael Chobanian vented his frustrations on Telegram claiming “There is no such information in Ukraine and has never been,” in response to the NBU’s inquiry.

And Kuna’s frustrations are valid because the exchange wasn’t doing so hot before the government inquest.

Kuna lost 60% of its trading volume when it withdrew from the Russian market. And those volumes have shrunk 90% over the past few months.

It seems at best, misguided, that the Ukrainian government would have domestic crypto regulation so high on their to-do list, but here we are.

Now, it’s hard to worry about crypto’s future in a region that’s currently in the midst of a ground war with Russia. You’d think artillery strikes, machine gun fire, and the ever-present threat of nuclear war would be at the forefront of our anxieties.

And you’d be right. It’d be crazy to worry about Ukraine’s crypto future too. But damn it, we’re going to try!

Premium Market Report

Tether's Q2 Sees Excess Reserves Climb, Profits Slide to $850M
Source: TheBlock + CoinDesk

📃 Summary:

Meme of the Day

“Come on Bitcoin, Let’s go shopping!”

Crypto 101

Phygital: This strange portmanteau of “physical” and “digital” is a marketing term to describe the blending of digital experiences and products with those in the real world.

Kiosks and ATMs were the first phygital experiences, as they represent a digital interface in a real space.

This term has evolved to include NFT functionality and Web3 crossover products.

The Last Sip

So, we’re not going to make jokes about the war in Ukraine. “There are no comedians in a foxhole” as we’re pretty sure the saying goes. Nope! More crypto Barbies!

Bitcoin Mining Barbie: Her at-home rig produces enough heat to keep the Malibu dream house hot tub warm and bubbly!

Elizabeth Warren Barbie: Get your brother’s GI Joe collection and build an anti-crypto army!

SBF Ken: Comes with an orange jumpsuit and life-like hair! House Arrest playset sold separately.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

That's all for today! If this email got you hooked on our unhinged crypto takes, be sure to get a full dose on Twitter @GetCoffeeCrypto.

Want cutting-edge market analysis delivered to your inbox three times a week? Sign up for Premium Roast! We'll cut through the BS floating around on Twitter and CNBC and help you finally understand the markets, all for the price of a single cup of coffee.

If you find yourself smiling at any of our dumb jokes, or even *learning* something - make sure to share this newsletter with your friends!

If you get 5 friends to sign up - or even enemies, we don't care - we'll send you our Bitcoin Bootcamp Ebook! This thing is packed with info and is the ultimate guide to the world’s ultimate currency.

Just hit the Click to Share button in the section below to get started!

DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.