As we move deeper into December and toward the wintry months ahead, there’s one question on everyone’s minds:

Can you really get your tongue stuck to a frozen pole? We think this is going to be the year we finally try.

If there’s no newsletter for a couple days it’s because we’re in the hospital. But enough about our upcoming date with an oral surgeon, let’s stick our tongues on some crypto news!

Espresso Shots

☕️ Crypto Layoffs Mount ✂️ 📉

Crypto Exchanges Bybit and Swyftx are just the latest to undergo massive layoffs amidst the FTX fallout.

Bybit will lay off 30% of its workforce, while Swyftx expects to cut even more at 35%.

The winds of crypto winter are bitter and layoffs like these are popping up in headlines far too regularly.

“We have to prepare in advance for a worst-case scenario of further significant drops in global trade volumes… and the potential for more black swan-type events,” said Alex Harper, CEO of Swyftx.

Personally, we would prefer to avoid FTX-style black swan-type events, but we wouldn’t have a problem with more black swan-type movies. That Natalie Portman sure is something, huh?

☕️ Nexo's American Exodus 🇺🇸 ✈️

Nexo, the U.K.-based crypto lender, has announced plans to phase out products in the U.S. due to issues with American regulations.

“Our decision comes after more than 18 months of good-faith dialogue with U.S. state and federal regulators which has come to a dead end,” Nexo wrote on their company blog.

Nexo feels that the U.S. regulators have, “inconsistent and changing positions,” on crypto.

America has 50 states, the District of Columbia, and multiple territories. Each of these regions has their own rules, laws, and wildly different cultures. How is that so hard to understand?!

We’re sad to see Nexo go, but we’re grateful it was a clean break. The last time the Brits “phased out” of North America there was a lot more musket fire.

☕️ Grayscale Keeps Users in the Dark 🔦 📍

The ongoing FTX saga has most crypto companies and exchanges moving toward further transparency with their users.

But that’s not the case with Grayscale, the world’s largest bitcoin exchange. Grayscale announced this week that they wouldn’t share their proof of reserves with their customers.

This has caused serious speculation that Grayscale may be in a very precarious situation. What do they have to hide? Is Grayscale the next FTX?

Grayscale released an official statement reading, “Panic sparked by others is not a good enough reason to circumvent complex security arrangements that have kept our investors’ assets safe for years.”

Grayscale urges its users not to panic, the park is perfectly safe for visitors and all of the electric fences around the dinosaur enclosures are attached to backup generators.

Spilling the Beans

Twitter Coin is comin'!

Thanks to Twitter sleuth Nima Owji (@nima_owji) - a new feature called ‘Twitter Coin’ has been uncovered.

There is still much we don’t know about this supposed coin - including the underlying tech behind it. But here’s what we do know:

• The Coin appears to be part of a ‘tip’ feature allowing users to send money to one another.

• Nima Owji discovered the coin by digging through Twitter’s code.

• The coin appears to be a smaller element in a bigger strategy by Twitter to allow users to monetize their profiles - an area Twitter has fallen behind in.

Twitter has rolled out some small monetization features before - like subscription features and gated content - but it isn’t seen as a platform you use to make money online.

Platforms like YouTube, Instagram, Only Fans, Patreon, and others have long since allowed creators to monetize their content, Twitter now seems eager to join that arms race.

Some have speculated that Twitter’s move to a token system could prove an effective way at avoiding the “Apple Tax.” Structurally, here’s how this could function:

• Twitter creates a Twitter Coin - which can only be purchased via the web app (not the IOS app.)

• Twitter requires users to subscribe to Twitter Blue with Twitter Coin, therefore avoiding the in-app purchase with fiat currency.

• Twitter allows users to send tips in Twitter Coin - this transaction takes place with a ‘credit,’ and not a currency, so Apple can’t get a cut.

Elon has railed against Apple's 30% cut of in-app purchases as recently as last week, so it seems highly likely he’d be interested in ways to get around those fees.

So what does this mean for Crypto?

Quite honestly, we don’t know enough yet. But who doesn’t love a shot in the dark prediction? So here’s our take:

At worst, this doesn’t do much for crypto - the token may not even be run on a blockchain, it could just be a credit system, entirely unrelated to crypto - in which case, we march on!

At best, this token could run on an existing blockchain. Hell, it could even use Dogecoin, Elon’s favorite pet project. (Yes, yes, pun intended.)

If that is the case and Twitter adopts a fully functioning in-app token ecosystem, it could prove to be a huge boost for crypto.

Enterprise adoption at a massive scale could quickly create the confidence boost crypto desperately needs right now.

Only time will tell how this plays out, but we’ll be keeping a close eye on this one. This may be the most exciting accidental social media reveal since Chris Evans posted his genitals to Instagram.

Meme of the Day

This is the first National Treasure meme in this newsletter - and it will NOT be the last.

The Last Sip

We've been thinking a lot about this Grayscale situation.

They don't want to share their balance sheets with users because it could threaten security, or cause fear or maybe because they're sleazy! Who knows?

Grayscale is taking a page out of my father’s notebook.

When my goldfish died, my dad didn’t tell me. He just kept buying new, similar looking goldfish and replacing the dead ones.

When I confronted him about it he just told me that it was the same goldfish, but he was a time traveler and appeared slightly different because each version of that goldfish was from an alternate timeline.

This is just like that.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.