What a week for crypto!

Government action, international fugitives apprehended, we even finally got around to trying that new Thai restaurant down the street.

Sorry, that last one may have been a little more micro than macro, but you get the picture. Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty and cover some of the wackiest, wildest headlines in crypto.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Do-Kwon Captured in Montenegro! 🚨 🇲🇪

After having insisted he’s “not on the run” for nearly a year, former Terra CEO Do-Kwon has finally been captured in Montenegro.

The Montenegrin Minister of the Interior gave a statement Thursday morning saying:

“The Montenegrin police has apprehended an individual believed to be one of the most-wanted fugitives, the South Korean national Do-Kwon, the co-founder and CEO of Terraform Labs based in Singapore,” 

Terraform or “Terra” Labs, as some of you may remember, collapsed in May of 2022. The collapse involved the depegging of Terra’s stablecoin USDT and its native token, LUNA.

The Terra Labs collapse saw over $40 billion wiped out in just a matter of days.

Since the collapse of Terra Labs, its founder Do-Kwon has been charged by South Korean Authorities, The US Federal Government, and recently New York State. 

So, how did they nab the man at the head of it all?

Do-Kwon tried to board a plane in the Podgorica airport, the capital of Montenegro. Airport security discovered he was using falsified travel documents and the entire thing unraveled from there. 

With Do-Kwon apprehended, the international forces behind his world-wide manhunt can now focus on public enemy number one: Waldo.

☕️ Tim Draper’s Bitcoin Song 🎤 🎶

Tim Draper, the American investor and Bitcoin enthusiast with no relationship to Don Draper, brought a new level of cringe to Paris Blockchain Week.

The source of that cringe? Draper composed an original song dedicated to Satoshi Nakomoto, the pseudonymous founder of Bitcoin and sang it on stage.

If your will isn’t strong enough to watch the video, you’re a coward. Click it. You won’t regret it. Or actually you might. 

So, Satoshi, wherever you are...

Thank you for Bitcoin, the blockchain, and more…

This wasn’t so much singing as that Frank Sinatra talk-melody espoused by white men of a certain age. Regardless, the effect was devastating.

Thankfully, Draper’s handlers were able to rush the stage and tackle him before he started freestyling.

☕️ No One is Safe From Elizabeth Warren 🤬 ✉️

After writing a strongly worded letter to former Signature Bank CEO, Joseph DePaolo, blaming him for his role in the bank’s collapse, Senator Warren set her sights on a new target.

And that’s the Public Company Accounting Oversight’s Board (PCAOB) which Warren, working with Senator Ron Wyden, targeted in the latest in a series of angry missives, holding the PCAOB accountable for less-than-thorough crypto audits.

“Given that the ongoing use of sham audits of crypto firms conducted by PCAOB-registered auditors mislead the public and threatens the integrity of that auditing system,” the letter read. 

“And we now know, potentially the banking and financial systems– you have both the authority and responsibility to rein them in.”

Based on the success of her previous angry letters, Warren next intends to pen a “howler” to twelve-year-old Ron Weasley, for his role in crashing his family’s flying car into the Whomping Willow.

Spilling the Beans

The SEC's War on Crypto 🙄

The SEC has issued an official warning to the good people of this country.

And what are they warning the American people of? It's not or murder hornets or even Elizabeth Holmes.

No, dear reader, the SEC is warning Americans of the threat of crypto.

The SEC published this warning on SEC.gov, urging American citizens to be cautious when it comes to crypto investments.

“Investments in crypto asset securities can be exceptionally volatile and speculative, and the platforms where investors buy, sell, borrow, or lend these securities may lack important protections for investors,” read the official warning.

It goes on. 

“The risk of loss for individual investors who participate in transactions involving crypto assets, including crypto asset securities, remains significant. The only money you should put at risk with any speculative investment is money you can afford to lose entirely.”

Don’t invest money you can’t afford to lose? What a revolutionary concept.

But in all seriousness, the “Caution: Fire May Be Hot” theme of this warning is causing many to ask, “why?” or rather “why now?”

And perhaps better yet: why are they issuing this warning for crypto and not... you know, all of the banks that are collapsing...?

As to the “why”, we’ll never be able to get inside the twisted heads of the gremlins at the SEC. But for the “why now,” we have a decent guess.

The SEC - or rather Biden's SEC - has declared war on crypto.

At a certain point in war, usually at the start, there comes time for the surprise attack, the Blitzkrieg, the crossing of the Rubicon, if you will.

It seems, for the SEC, that moment is now.

This week, they’ve opened up a crypto war on several fronts. There’s the lawsuit against Tron and its founder Justin Sun, as well as a score of their celebrity endorsers.

Then, on the same day, the SEC issued a Wells Notice to Coinbase, warning them to expect legal action in the near future.

And yes, this had a deleterious effect on Coinbase stock.

But what’s really interesting, is that despite a week of lawsuits, warnings of lawsuits, and official warnings against crypto, the SEC’s actions haven’t affected crypto at all.

Bitcoin has only continued to rise, up over 10% this week.

The case for Bitcoin is only made more clear every time the SEC launches another lawsuit citing stringent crypto regulation while another bank falls. 

The SEC's position on crypto has now become so blatantly political that even its commissioners are speaking out against it. 

Hester Peirce recently broke rank against her boss Gary Gensler to call out his actions.

“Some people in the regulatory world are perfectly fine with having innovation in crypto move away from the United States because they don’t think that there’s anything positive that’s going to come out of it,” said Peirce. “I tend to be of a different mindset.”

And “different mindsets” is the name of the game. Much like the SEC's actions of late, the SEC itself is a political body and political appointees are temporary. 

Gary Gensler was appointed by Biden. The next SEC Chairman might not be. 

Which means the SEC's motivations are going to change with each presidential cycle, and so too will its stance on crypto. 

So, can the SEC effectively ban crypto (at least until the next election?)

Well maybe. But even if crypto was banned and then unbanned in a endless cycle like a snake eating its tail…

It’s way too late to ban crypto. The genie is out of the bottle and Bitcoin isn't some website you can shut down. 

It’s like those old, “You wouldn’t steal a car” commercials against internet piracy. They didn't stop anyone from downloading movies. The Pirate Bay still exists. 

There’s no way to stop it. Both crypto and pirating movies are completely decentralized and thanks to VPNs, easily accomplished anywhere.

The best that regulatory bodies like the SEC can do is ask that Americans “not do that" and make it more difficult for them by shutting down exchanges. 

So, the SEC can sue all the companies they want, but when it comes to Americans buying and trading crypto, their only option is to write this warning long after it’s too late to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

But we’ll be careful. We appreciate the warning. Thanks, Mom.

Meme of the Day

Keep it up, Tim.

Crypto 101

PCAOB: The Public Company Accounting Oversight’s Board.

This is the governmental body that received that scolding from Senators Warren and Wyden. And they… did kinda fail.

The PCAOB is a nonprofit organization dedicated to overseeing the auditing process of American businesses. Those aforementioned Democratic senators felt like the PCAOB really dropped the ball on their crypto audits.

The Last Sip

In honor of Tim Draper’s Bitcoin song, we’ve compiled the top three most cringe-inducing moments of singing we’ve ever had to bear witness to:

• Whenever Pierce Brosnan opens his mouth in Mama Mia! (There are some crimes that not even autotune can cover up).

• Kendall Roy’s “L to the O.G.” rap in Season 2, episode 8 of Succession (We get goosebumps just remembering this one).

• When all of those celebrities sang “Imagine,” at the start of COVID (Why did this happen? Where were all the agents and managers? Again, how did this happen?).

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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