It’s the anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. So, let’s all put our differences aside and make a pact to continue reading this newsletter.

Also, let’s all agree to keep an eye on Germany.

Anyway, shall we?

Espresso Shots

☕️ Bitcoin's January Spike 📈 🤑

As of January 17th, Bitcoin is now up to $21,594.

This hike, in a market that’s been beleaguered for months by crypto winter and FTX contagion, is a ray of sunshine that has market analysts guessing.

On a Twitter poll hosted by CoinTelegraph, 37% of users felt that Bitcoin is shooting to the moon, while another 22% felt that this rally was certain to end in a crash.

Though there’s a strong chance that Bitcoin, like most of your adult friends group, will show serious signs of improvement in January before lapsing back into last year’s bad habits and toxic cycles.

☕️ Demands for the Digital Euro 💶 🖥️

The EU Finance Ministers, which is apparently some sort of league and not just one guy, are making their wishes clear as the designs for the Digital Euro continue.

“To succeed, the digital euro should ensure and maintain users’ trust, for which privacy is a key dimension and a fundamental right,” reads an official statement.

“At the same time… a digital euro should comply with other policy objectives such as preventing money laundering, illicit financing, tax evasion, and ensuring sanctions compliance.”

In short, the EU’s digital currency should simultaneously provide privacy and absolute transparency.

In an unofficial statement, the EU Finance Ministers also want the Digital Euro to be a sensitive bad boy, brooding, but, like, good with your parents.

☕️ Scaramucci Feels "Betrayed" By SBF 🎭 ⚔️

At the World Economic Forum in Davos, Anthony Scaramucci remarked on his close relationship with Sam Bankman-Fried and his feelings of betrayal around the FTX collapse.

Scaramucci was close friends with SBF’s father and hosted a mock Shark Tank panel for kids with SBF and Kevin O’Leary in the Bahamas.

And you know what an Italian does when they feel betrayed? That’s right. They bring up 14th century narrative poetry.

“If anybody here has read Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, you know what the ninth circle of Hell is reserved for,” said Scaramucci. “It’s for the betrayal of a friend who lives with the devil– the ninth circle of hell on the frozen lake.”

We’re shocked. Not that Anthony Scaramucci felt so close to SBF, but that a Scaramucci knows how to read.

Spilling the Beans

SBF ❤️s Congress 🥰

Congress is divided on most issues.

Gun control, abortion rights, Voter ID laws.

But there seems to be one area where at least 37% of Congress can get along.

And that’s on taking money from Sam Bankman-Fried.

That’s right. 37%. 

A total of 196 members of congress, meaning only 339 members unknowingly kept their hearts pure by refraining from touching FTX’s dirty money. 

And based on the timeline, some of those contributions may have come directly from the missing $8 billion at the heart of the scandal.

Though, admittedly many of those donations did not directly come from Sam Bankman-Fried, a whole slew of high-level FTX executives were making political donations.

“We have received guidance from the Department of Justice that dollars received from FTX executives should be set aside for when a victims’ compensation fund is created in the future,” was the official statement from Chris Carrol, the campaign manager for Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.), 

Delauro had received millions in donations from Nishad Singh, one of those top level FTX executives.

In addition to DeLauro, the recipients of the FTX bucks include high-ranking members of Congress and fan favorites such as Rep. Chuck Schumer (D. NY), the Senate Majority Leader, and Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R. Calif.)

Several of the politicians who received donations from FTX did what they felt was the right thing, and donated the funds to charity. Apparently, that’s very much not what you’re supposed to do!

“Making a payment or donation to a third party (including a charity) in the amount of any payment received from a FTX contributor does not prevent the FTX debtors from seeking recovery,” read the official statement from the FTX debt collection team.

At the time of this newsletter, only five of those 196 named politicians had successfully returned the money.

To be fair, a significant portion of those politicians have explicitly stated they’re going to wait and see what they’re told to do with their FTX donations.

But many have expressed how difficult it is to return the dirty money because they claim there's literally no place to return it to.

“There is nowhere to return the donation since his assets have been seized,” said Matt Lusty, a campaign advisor for Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah).

Do we think this will affect congressional opinions on crypto regulation?

Almost definitely. Regardless of whether they received funds or not, FTX has made the old guard of American congress more wary than ever of the instability of crypto.

Will this affect SBF’s trial? Most likely not. This left a bad taste in many a politician’s mouth, but these same politicians will have little to no impact on the outcome of the trial.

Ultimately, it’s just another event in the string of sad, funny, ridiculous debacles that define American politics.

FTX made American politics an offer they can’t refuse, but it will be a debt collection team coming to call, instead of a curly-haired mafioso with no upper body strength.

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Meme of the Day

Ah, nothing tastes quite as good as legalized bribery ☕️

The Last Sip

Anthony Scaramucci Explains the Other Circles of Italian Hell:

The Third Circle: A deli that only sells muffulettas but they’re always out of olive spread.

The Fifth Circle: Somebody burnt the sauce.

The Eighth Circle: You can’t call Ma.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.