Together with

Yes, we’ve offered our fair bit of signature advice on what to do in a bear market, a recession, or how to combat waves of inflation.

But what about when things are going great?

With Bitcoin’s bull run rising ever higher, it feels like we’re in the land of milk and honey.

But what do you do with all that milk and honey? (probably make a cake?)

Let’s find out together how you can improve your already healthy gains. In the words of Pedro Pascal’s character in the “groundbreaking” Wonder Woman 1984, “Life is good, but it could be better.”

Espresso Shots

☕️ Crypto Dropped from U.S. Defense Bill ⬇ 🛡

Two crypto provisions have been removed from the upcoming National Defense Authorization Act.

The bill is considered a piece of must-pass legislation, but the attempt to piggyback crypto regulations onto the bill was officially ended this week.

The provisions would have created an anti-money laundering standard for crypto firms as well as mandatory examinations for crypto-related privacy technologies.

But how could they drop crypto from the defense bill? Without crypto, who would keep this nation safe by blocking the chains of our enemies?

☕️ El Salvador’s Freedom Visa 🦅 💲

El Salvador is introducing freedom visas, available to anybody who invests $1 million worth of Bitcoin in El Salvador’s economy.

The freedom visa would grant the investor citizenship status. 

While El Salvador is the first country to enact this sort of privilege with crypto, Ireland, Spain, and Portugal have also offered “golden visas” to foreigners willing to make substantial donations to their country’s economies.

Not to be outdone, America will soon offer “free-er” visas, which permit investors to steal mail and shoot street signs.

☕️ Booking Your Bitcoin 📚 💰

Novel Wallet, a new security measure to hide your crypto wallet recovery phrase, generates a 24-chapter novel and hides the phrase in the passages of the book.

Alex Cannon created Novel Wallet using Python and ChatGPT. The first version was created using 24 chapters from The Illiad by Homer.

While in its current version, Novel Wallet creates more of a garbled mess than a real novel, Cannon admits that there’s room for improvement and has made the project open source.

“I don't think this idea is revolutionary or what someone should be solely relying their digital fund security on, but I did enjoy making it,” Cannon told Decrypt.

Secret codes inside the pages of a novel? “We knew it!” cried schizophrenics everywhere.

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Spilling the Beans

Riding the Bull Run 🤠 🐂

Bitcoin’s had a long, tumultuous journey, but Bitcoin’s finally back in the black.

Bitcoin’s gone up 160% in 2023, but at least half of that price hike occurred in the past two months.

Yes, Bitcoin’s certainly in the midst of a bull run, but you don’t need us to tell you that. You’re probably well aware.

However, if this is the first time you’re hearing of Bitcoin’s recent, glorious performance, we’ll get you up to speed with this handy list of bullet points, curated by CFA and CEO of Grit Capital, Genevieve Roch-Decter.

So yeah, things are looking pretty good, but why stop there?

And yes, we’re going to tell you to ask more of your crypto market, but this isn’t just about greed, it’s about complacency.

Wanting more than you need is generally considered a sign of avarice, but we’d argue it’s a sign of ambition.

What if we had decided that the biplane was good enough? What if we’d stopped improving medicine at Medieval bloodletting? What if Apple didn’t release a new iPhone every year?

If we stopped wanting more, stopped pushing ourselves to be better, it would be the end of progress.

Just wanting that little bit much more, that’s the gas in the tank that keeps this whole “society and civilization” thing running.

But before we start discussing investing in a bull market, just a quick reminder that none of this constitutes legal investment advice, we’re just your friendly neighborhood crypto newsletter, not your financial counselor.

So, we’ve already covered how to invest in a bear market. You need to be brave where others are skittish, even if that means buying the deepest of the dip.

But a bull market is… ahem, another animal entirely.

When prices are swiftly rising, FOMO and impulsivity run rampant.

During a bull market, it’s crucial to maintain a level head and a regular investment strategy.

This could be any version of Dollar Cost Averaging, whether that is a weekly or monthly recurring investment.

And sometimes investing in a bull market… actually means divesting.

Hey, we know that we’re always telling you to “hodl,” but if you were one of those intrepid investors who bought Bitcoin in November of last year’s bear market, there’s no shame in selling off some of those holdings, pocketing 300% gains, and having an extra merry Christmas.

That means setting up a comprehensive exit strategy and deciding on a set level at which you’ll turn those gains into cold, hard profit.

But more than likely, you don’t want to divest entirely, particularly when it comes to Bitcoin.

Bitcoin’s trajectory seems so astronomical, that we’d recommend waiting around to see how this narrative plays out.

There’s no sadder story than selling before we get to the peak.

But keep our advice in mind, and don’t go rodeo on this thing. 

We’re not going to be cowboys riding the bull market, no, we’re going to take a page out of the book of those crazy Spaniards in Pamplona and run in front of it.

Crypto 101

Sharding: No! Grow up! 

Sharding is when a blockchain is split into several identical “shards” which can simultaneously execute smart contracts and contractions.

Sharding makes blockchain networks both more efficient and more scalable.

And yes, “sharding” sounds like when you think you just have to fart but then your day is ruined

The Last Sip

The Last Sip: If Novel Wallet becomes a success, we intend to launch Diary Wallet. You can find your recovery phrases somewhere in our handwritten pages detailing our fears about puberty.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.