Today is Friday, February 3rd, and the birthday of Physician Henry Heimlich, creator of the Heimlich maneuver!

So, to celebrate, we’re going to go the entire day without choking. Are you ready to calmly, thoughtfully digest this newsletter? Open wide!

Espresso Shots

☕️ Metaverse Super Bowl Halftime Show 🏈 🎸

The Metaverse is partnering with popular video game, Roblox, to bring you the first virtual Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Rapper-Singer Saweetie will headline the virtual concert, which will be hosted on the Roblox platform and brought to you by Warner Music Group.

The concert will start on February 10th and replay 31 times, every hour on the hour, like some sort of hellish Groundhog Day, until the Super Bowl.

The show is sponsored by Intuit and is tied into the release of their new game, NFL Super Tycoon, a bizarrely detailed NFL simulator.

Seriously, this is a game that allows players to manage an NFL team's cashflow, payroll, taxes and customer acquisition while using Intuit products.

Managing customer acquisitions is exactly what kids want from their tycoon simulator, not sending thousands of NPCs hurtling to their deaths on unfinished roller coasters.

☕️ MetaMask Adds New Features 🎭 🔐

MetaMask, what some may consider the gold standard for crypto wallets, is rolling out some new features to give users additional privacy.

Users will now be able to activate a phishing detection as well as choose their own remote procedure call (RPC) network. The RPC is just a server that allows the blockchain to send information to different networks.

Users can also link custom IFPS gateways to their Metaverse wallet, which allows for further decentralized distribution of data.

While these new features are certainly a step in the right direction, browser based wallets like MetaMask are inherently risky.

For true web3 safety, always use a cold storage wallet like Ledger.

Also for the price of shipping and handling, MetaMask will send you an ornate, masquerade-style half-mask to wear to secret orgies.

☕️ DogeCouch Up for Auction 🐕 🛋️

In one of the more odder stories you'll see from Coffee & Crypto (and that's saying something) we're here to report the couch from the Doge meme is for sale.

Pleasr.DAO, a Decentralized Autonomous Organization that was formed to purchase NFTs, has since launched PleasrHouse which hosts auctions. And what are they selling?

Pleasr.House is hosting a 24-hour NFT auction and the grand prize will be the couch featured in the legendary Doge meme circa 2010.

The auction will also include live episode of Pleasr.House featuring photographer Atsuko Sato and the doge herself, Kabosu.

The proceeds for the auction will all go to charity. As Pleasr.DAO has historically already given millions of dollars to childrens’ foundations, as well as dogs, globally.

Other Doge artifacts up for auction include a discarded flea collar and a fossilized turd.

Spilling the Beans

The NFT Use Case That'll Save Millions 💰 🏠

There’s an oft repeated little investment nugget that’s either attributed to Mark Twain or Tony Soprano.

It either goes, “Buy land, they’re not making any more of it.” or “Buy land, A.J., cause God ain’t making anymore of it,” depending on who you talk to.

But regardless of the source, it is a valuable piece of investing advice.

Real estate is generally one of the best long-term investments to have in your portfolio.

The only issue? The buy-in price.

As of last year, the average house in America costs $348,079. Naturally, it varies. The most expensive houses being in Hawaii and the least expensive being in West Virginia. Because duh.

But there's another issue - in addition to houses being prohibitively expensive, buying and selling a house and is prohibitively difficult.

From realtor fees at 6% to standard closing fees around 1%, the cost of real estate tends to be significantly higher than the initial purchase price.

But what if there were a way for ambitious investors to get a piece of that real estate pie without breaking the bank?

Well, there is.

We’re always trying to discover, emphasize, and broadcast practical uses for NFTs. And frankly, this is one of the best.

In October, history was made when an actual, physical house sold as an NFT on OpenSea for $175,000.

This was history in the making and honestly, an incredible utility for NFTs. Why wouldn’t you want the deed to your house to be an indestructible piece of data on a decentralized network instead of a paper deed?

A paper deed can be destroyed by fire or carried off by ants. This can’t happen to an NFT.

Purchasing property via NFTs is likely to save thousands in realtor fees, closing fees, and in weeks of escrow time. The purchase of a title deed via NFT can take just seconds.

While NFT real estate is still very new, it has near limitless potential. Last year, a seven story office building in the Flatiron district in New York was listed on Opensea.

While NFTs haven't yet broken down all the walls of the traditional real estate market, they've certainly led to a fascinating to industry in the... less traditional market.

KEYS Token is a real estate-based Ethereum network that is minting virtual mansions.

KEYS has already minted 8,888 virtual mansions and entered a $100 million partnership with Genius Ventures.

The digital details of the Keys Meta Mansions are currently powered by Unreal Engine 5, and they intend to release continued apps and updates, all with eyes on the metaverse.

So, If the asking price for properties in reality is stretching your wallet a little too thin, you can break ground on Web3.

And we know on paper this seems a lot like adopting an animal at your local zoo.

Sure, you get a certificate that says you rescued a polar bear, but do you get any special visiting rights? Do you get to feed them salmon right from your hand?

But we digress. What we’re saying is that the concept of owning and trading land is as old as time, and it's not going anywhere, but ways to improve that process are absolutely on the rise.

And as always, if owning real land isn't of interest to you: why not dabble in the Metaverse? After all who hasn't dreamed of becoming a virtual landlord?

Plus, if you’re a landlord in the Metaverse, no socialists can threaten to eat you if your identity is anonymous. And if your tenants complain that your building’s not up to code, you can just report them for inappropriate conduct.

Meme of the Day

Boy-o is this game fun.

Crypto 101

DAO: A Decentralized Autonomous Organization.

By their nature, each of these organizations define their own rules. Holding a certain token or NFT is often necessary for membership.

Proceeds from selling those tokens generally go into the DAO treasury, which the DAO can then decide to spend as it wishes.

DAOs are generally run via group proposal. These proposals are put in front of their membership and then voted on by token holders.

The Last Sip

Back by popular demand, the Metaverse Super Bowl Halftime Show will also include:

• Left Shark

• Janet Jackson’s Breast

• Paul McCartney's Breast

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

That's all for today! If this email got you hooked on our unhinged crypto takes, be sure to get a full dose on Twitter @GetCoffeeCrypto.

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.