Oh, thank goodness, inspector, you’re just in time.

Bitcoin’s dropped dead in the study. Well, not dead, but at a much lower price point than any of us are comfortable with.

All the party guests are accounted for, but nobody has a solid alibi for the time of the murder.

It’s time to cross-examine the witnesses, do some wild, Holmesian deductions, and find out who’s to blame for Bitcoin’s price drop.

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Espresso Shots

☕️ FBI Warns of Crypto Cash-out 💸 📤

The FBI issued an official warning on August 22 regarding $40 million in crypto that may soon be cashed out by North Korean hackers.

The FBI has been tracing several crypto wallets associated with attacks earlier this year.

Alphapo had $60 million stolen on July 22, and CoinsPaid suffered a $37 million hack on the same day. Additionally, these digital attacks may be related to the $100-million Atomic Wallet theft, on June 2.

These digital heists are likely linked to the infamous North Korean hacking group, Lazarus.

The FBI has urged anyone with information to report it to an FBI field office or the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.

In the meantime, we would warn investors to be wary of MissileCoin, BunkerToken, or any DAO questioning the legitimacy of South Korea.

☕️ Will Croatia Become a Crypto Hub? 🌊 🪙

Croatia is rolling out a crypto framework as clear as the nation’s sparkling, blue waters.

While the EU continues to move toward the new MiCA guidelines, some countries, such as France and Croatia, are crafting regulations ahead of MiCA in the hopes of beating the curve and cementing their places as crypto hubs.

Croatia has adopted a rulebook that would require crypto firms to register with Hanfa, a Croationa regulatory body, within 60 days. Additionally, Croatia will implement KYC practices which are already a part of the country’s anti-money laundering guidelines.

It would appear that France and Croatia are neck and neck to become Europe’s next, great crypto hub.

Though Dubrovnik, one of the largest cities in Croatia, was the setting for King’s Landing from “Game of Thrones,” so potential crypto investors may have to step around nerds recreating the Mountain popping out Pedro Pascal’s eyeballs.

☕️ SBF’s Prison Diet 👨‍⚖️ 🍔

Sam Bankman-Fried reportedly isn’t getting much support for his vegan diet in prison.

SBF, due to his self-imposed dietary restraints, is currently living off bread, water, and peanut butter.

Additionally, he is not being provided with the psychiatric medication that is “necessary for him to focus”, SBF’s defense team said in a Decrypt report.

SBF’s lawyers are arguing that these conditions will hamper SBF’s trial performance.

Though Judge Lewis Kaplan, who is presiding over the case, had overruled SBF’s previous computer requests, he is actually attempting to accommodate SBF’s medication and dietary demands.

This could be an interesting interpretation of the Eighth Amendment, which never explicitly guarantees prisoners’ rights to amphetamines or impossible burgers.

Spilling the Beans

Who Murdered Bitcoin? 🔎🧐

It was a dark and stormy August. A cocktail party was assembled in the crypto mansion, with the hope of raising everyone’s spirits…

And then Bitcoin dropped dead.

But this wasn’t natural causes. What we have on our hands, ladies and gentlemen, is murder most foul.

This was supposed to be crypto summer. With the darkest days of crypto winter fading to a dot in our rearview mirror, we all hoped this would be a time to kick back, relax, and watch Bitcoin skyrocket.

But in the last week, Bitcoin fell below the $26,000 price point, and since then it’s mostly idled.

It’s a disappointing, devastating development — which makes us want someone to blame.

Because all the factors for success were in place. The wave of Bitcoin ETF applications was supposed to usher in a new wave of prosperity and TradFi attention.

But that brings us to our first, potential culprit, crypto’s most prominent antagonist: the SEC.

When it comes to approval for the Bitcoin ETFs, no decision, is in fact, a decision.

And this lack of decisiveness may be costing Bitcoin dearly. The longer the outcome takes to reach, it feels like there’s less of a chance of a positive verdict.

The waiting game has prompted a serious sell-off, as institutional investors sold off $55 million worth of BTC in the past week alone, driving down the price.

But this may not just be a domestic, regulatory issue, now, we must cast our eyes across the globe to one of the oldest scapegoats for America’s economic woes: China.

The Chinese economy is showing signs of serious instability.

China’s Hang Seng (HSI), the Chinese equivalent of the NASDAQ, fell into a bear market last Friday.

Additionally, the Chinese yuan is at its lowest price point in 16 years. And to top it all off, the Chinese property bubble is swiftly deflating due to economic conditions reminiscent of America’s own 2008 housing crisis.

China is a massive, global player. And a potential Chinese economic collapse may have some investors frantically rearranging their assets, which could include Bitcoin sell-offs.

But like any good murder mystery, we have one last suspect to consider, one that should have been obvious the entire time.

And that’s the investors themselves.

Whether that is individual or institutional, investors selling off $55 million worth of BTC represents widespread FUD across the sector.

It may be hard to HODL when things look dire and the ETF outcome looks so unclear, but that’s when it’s most important to HODL.

But this isn’t the end of Bitcoin. It’s not dead; far from it. Like a videogame character or a cat, Bitcoin has many, many lives.

It’s never a question of if Bitcoin will rise again, but when.

Does that remove any of these parties from culpability? Absolutely not.

But as we wrap up our suspects, and bring a series of black-and-white flashbacks accompanied by each to a close, potential motives for murder, we’re ready to deliver our verdict.

It was everybody. Each of these parties certainly had a hand in Bitcoin’s demise, like so many senators stabbing Caesar.

But even if everyone wasn’t involved, even despite Bitcoin’s ability to recover, we’re still inclined to blame Professor Plum. The vibes have not been right with that guy from the very moment he stepped into the mansion.

Meme of the Day

Was it… YOU? 🔍🕵️‍♀️

Crypto 101

Bridging: or “Blockchain Bridging,” in crypto this is the process that connects one blockchain to another blockchain, and permits the transfer of one native asset to another.

The Last Sip

In addition to the SEC, China, and the investors themselves, there are three more potential suspects for Bitcoin’s murder…

3. Alec Baldwin: It would probably, technically be manslaughter, but they’ve got to stop giving this guy props with real bullets.

2. Redd Herring: We don’t know what it is, we just have a feeling about this guy.

1. Gary Gensler: We know, we already said the SEC, but this one man seems to have a vendetta against crypto. We wouldn’t be surprised if his basement was full of the remnants of Santeria rituals and Bitcoin voodoo dolls.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.