☕️ Who Gets Rich When Crypto Crashes? 👀 🤯

🤡 Are crypto lawyers laughing all the way to the bank? 🏦

If you’ve been with crypto long, you know it’s a place where legal peril abounds.

Whether that’s government lawsuits, class action lawsuits, or personal lawsuits, it seems that with the persistently unclear legal territory that crypto inhabits, whether warranted or not, your fan favorites will often get their day in court.

But do you know who benefits every time crypto goes to court?


Has crypto’s legal counsel become a bigger winner than any of its investors?

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Espresso Shots

☕️ FTX Exec Pleads Guilty 💼 👎

Ryan Salame, FTX executive and one of SBF’s top deputies, will plead guilty to criminal charges this Thursday.

Salame played a large part in handling FTX’s questionable political donations, particularly those concerning Republican candidates.

It’s not a good look for SBF, whose trial in New York begins in a few weeks. SBF intends to enter a not-guilty plea.

Salame is a Lebanese surname that means “peaceable,” not to be confused with the Italian-American “Salami” which is both a cured meat and a form of currency in New Jersey.

☕️ Bitcoin May Form Death Cross ☠

Based on its current indicators, some analysts believe that Bitcoin may be poised to exhibit a “death cross” technical pattern on its daily chart.

A death cross would mean a long-term bearish market trend. This is the opposite of a “golden cross” which indicates a long-term, upward, bullish trend.

However, Bitcoin isn’t alone in its troubles: Ethereum is also on the verge of flashing a death cross.

"On the Bitcoin chart, such a [death cross] pattern could form next week," said Alex Kuptsikevich, the senior market analyst at FxPro, in an email to CoinDesk. "Such a signal suggests a further decline, emphasizing the bearish trend here."

Historically, my mother has asked me to stop using the term “Death Cross” because apparently, I was “ruining Easter.”

☕️ How Rich Are They? 💰 💸

Henley and Partners released a global report on crypto wealth that revealed six current Bitcoin billionaires and twenty-two standard billionaires with holdings spread across several cryptocurrencies.

Additionally, the study found that there are 88,200 investors worldwide with crypto holdings of more than $1 million. Of that, 40,500 have bitcoin holdings exceeding $1 million.

The majority of the crypto millionaires and billionaires are American, but the rest are found in India, Russia, China, or Brazil.

Unofficially, only three of those aforementioned Bitcoin billionaires took the time to construct evil lairs, and not a single one incorporates an active volcano.

Spilling the Beans

Who Gets Rich When Crypto Crashes? 👀 🤯

Crypto crashes, bankruptcies, and the ambient chaos that rampaged throughout crypto winter and beyond were bad for everybody, right?

Well, that’s the thing. Crypto is a delicate ecosystem and in the circle of life, there are always winners and losers.

When rotten fruit falls from a tree, the ants feast. When a bird leaves its nest unattended, those eggs are dinner for a snake. And when a massive crypto exchange or crypto-friendly bank falls to the sand, never to rise again, who’s going to be there to pick over the bones?

Scavengers. Hyenas, jackals, and, in some cases, lawyers.

Now, we mean no offense to our own lawyers. We wouldn’t be able to provide you with all of our unhinged takes and borderline-libel accusations if Coffee & Crypto weren’t backed by a solid legal team.

Okay, now that we’ve effectively neutralized our chances of hurting any feelings internally, back to the lawyer bashing.

A recent article in The New York Times revealed that lawyers have received more than $700 million in legal fees for their work regarding the bankruptcies of five crypto exchanges.

And those exchanges are FTX, Celsius Network, Voyager Digital, BlockFi, and Genesis Global.

It’s easy to feel angry and resentful toward these lawyers, since they’re picking over the bones of larger, colossal failures that impacted countless human beings, many of whom can’t afford the losses they incurred.

And those lawyers are making a pretty penny doing it. Some of their rates, such as the law firm of Sullivan & Cromwell, which managed FTX’s bankruptcy, exceeded $2,000 per hour. Per hour!

Sullivan & Cromwell have so far hit FTX with more than $110 million in legal fees, as well as $500,000 in expenses. And as we all know, their work with that beleaguered firm is still far from over.

Now, hating on lawyers is nothing new.

Like doctors, they make a lot of money. And also like doctors, you generally don’t go to a lawyer when things are going well. But unlike doctors, lawyers are never credited with saving lives (even though sometimes, they kind of do).

Maybe that’s why there are thousands of jokes about lawyers, but not so many about physical therapists or anesthesiologists.

Making hundreds of millions while others have lost everything never puts anyone in a flattering light, but unfortunately, they’re just doing their jobs.

Besides, when you consider our earlier espresso shot about those crypto investors who have made millions or even billions from crypto, that $700 million-ish in legal fees seems like a drop in the bucket.

Much like the laws of physics define the limits of our grasp of physical reality, the justice system helps define the limits of what we know about society.

It’s up to lawyers to interpret those laws, bend them where necessary, and ultimately get their clients the best deal they can.

As crypto continues to inhabit its murky legal territory and the businesses within endure catastrophe after catastrophe, the need for lawyers in crypto is far from over.

Lawyers spend grueling years studying in law school so they can charge their exorbitant fees. And to that, we say, “Get your bag.”

If anything, we’re envious. We wish we could charge by the hour when our friends pitch their latest movie idea or tell us about a “really interesting” dream they had.

Premium Market Report

BTC Whales Go Against the Tide, Add $1.5B During Price Decline 🌊 🔼
Source: Forbes + CoinDesk

📃 Summary:

  • BTC whales accumulated $1.5 billion in the last two weeks of August, according to data from IntoTheBlock.

  • This buying happened while bitcoin's price was declining and nearing a 2-month low below $26,000.

  • Whale accumulation signals optimism among large investors despite recent BTC price weakness.

  • The accumulation occurred around significant events like BTC's plunge below $26k on August 17 and the court ruling in favor of Grayscale's spot BTC ETF application.

  • Increased institutional interest is expected with spot BTC ETF decisions approaching, though BTC's price has already erased gains from the initial rally after the Grayscale ruling.

☕️ Our Take:

Meme of the Day

And we’re all wishing Bitcoin swift recovery. 🪙 🩺 ♥

Crypto 101

Death Cross: This is an assessment of a stock’s (or crypto’s) charted performance.

If an asset’s short-term moving average crosses below its long-term moving average, that asset is officially entering a Death Cross formation.

A Death Cross indicates long-term bearish trends, while a Golden Cross indicates bullish.

The Last Sip

More than just a stock formation, a Death Cross sounds like:

3. A poisoned cinnamon bun.

2. A complicated and masterful crochet maneuver.

1. A Swedish Hair Metal band.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.