☕️ ETFs: They're HeeEEre! 👻 📺

After 10 years of rumors, ETFS begin trading today...

Well, it’s finally happened. After an absolutely humiliating 24 hours, the SEC has granted spot Bitcoin ETF approval to 11 applicants.

We’ll get into everything that’s happened so far and what the next few days might look like. In the meantime, let us set the scene for you.

You awake in a cold sweat. There’s a strange glow coming from an 80s television, there’s a bald man in front of it.

He turns. It’s Gary Gensler. His eyes are wide as he smiles at you, finally he croons… “They’re HEEEeeeerreeeee.”

Espresso Shots

☕️ Coinbase Lends a Helping Hand 🤚

Coinbase executives are offering to help the SEC revamp its security measures in the wake of a hack on the SEC’s X account which resulted in a premature Bitcoin ETF approval announcement.

This very sportsmanlike showing comes despite the fact that the SEC is currently suing Coinbase for securities violations and operating an unlicensed exchange.

Coinbase, however, chose to take the high road.

Naturally, this is the part of the movie when the Coinbase executives attempt to save Gary Gensler as he hisses, “Don’t touch me!”

☕️ Gensler’s Last Warning ⚠️

On Tuesday, Gary Gensler, chairman of the SEC, posted a statement on X regarding the impending ETF decision.

The post included a link to a post by the SEC's Office of Investor Education and Advocacy detailing the risks and lack of protections that come with crypto investing and urging consumers not to fall victim to “high-pressure sales tactics.”

Though Gensler doesn’t explicitly mention ETFs, this warning could not have come at a more conspicuous time, just hours before the regulatory body’s X account was hacked.

Ironically, Gensler clearly forgot to warn the rest of the SEC about clicking links to receive free Toyota Corollas.

☕️ Crypto Market Rebounds 📈

In the wake of the SEC’s approval of 11 Spot Bitcoin ETFs, crypto markets rebounded from their Tuesday slump.

After the SEC’s Twitter Account was hacked in order to post premature news of an ETF approval, Bitcoin and the entire crypto market experienced a Tumultuous Tuesday.

When news of the actual approval came Wednesday evening, the market quickly corrected, with Bitcoin briefly leaping as high as $47,500.

Spilling the Beans

ETFs: They’re Here

After a decade of rumors and failed attempts at launching a Bitcoin ETF, the day has finally come. Of course, it wasn’t without its drama.

In addition to approving all 11 applicants, Gary Gensler made it clear, that while these ETFs have been approved. He’s not particularly happy about it.

“While we approved the listing and trading of certain spot bitcoin ETP shares today, we did not approve or endorse bitcoin. Investors should remain cautious about the myriad risks associated with bitcoin and products whose value is tied to crypto.” Said Gensler’s official SEC statement..

Gensler’s statement also acknowledged that recent legal rulings had essentially made this decision inevitable.

“The court… remanded the matter to the Commission. Based on these circumstances… I feel the most sustainable path forward is to approve the listing and trading of these spot bitcoin ETP shares.”

Gensler is referring to a September Court Order which deemed that the SEC had “no grounds” in its rejection of Grayscale’s ETF application.

After that order, the path to an ETF seemed clearer than ever, though the SEC obviously took its time.

Hester Peirce, an SEC Commissioner who voted in favor of the decision, was elated, saying, “I am celebrating the right of American investors to express their thoughts on bitcoin by buying and selling spot bitcoin ETPs."

The Commission, made up of five voting members voted as follows:

  • In favor of approval: Gary Gensler, Hester Peirce, Mark Uyeda

  • Against: Caroline Crenshaw, Jaime Lizárraga

While the decision is not altogether surprising, it presents a remarkable ‘changing of the guard’ across the crypto industry.

Overnight, literally on Thursday morning, these institutional ETFs will be available to trade on the stock brokerage of your choice.

Bitcoin investment will now be readily available to any and all who are interested in it, bringing little doubt that we’ll see an inflow of capital.

What remains to be seen is which of these ETFs will control market share. We’ve seen already seen a battle brewing over brokerage fees.

The now approved ETFs feature a wide range of fees from promotional fees at 0% to Grayscale’s whopping 1.5%.

Here are the 11 ETFs expected to go live Thursday morning, along with their tickers and their announced brokerage fees:

  • Grayscale Bitcoin Trust (GBTC) - 1.5%

  • Hashdex Bitcoin Futures ETF (DEFI) 0.94%

  • Valkyrie Bitcoin Fund (BRRR) 0.0% (after three months: 0.49%)

  • WisdomTree Bitcoin Trust (BTCW) 0.0% (after six months: 0.3%)

  • Franklin Bitcoin ETF (EZBC) 0.29%

  • iShares/Blackrock Bitcoin Trust (IBIT) 0.12% (after 12 months: 0.25%)

  • VanEck Bitcoin Trust (HODL) 0.25%

  • Fidelity Wise Origin Bitcoin Trust (FBTC) 0% (on July 31, 2024: 0.25%)

  • ARK Invest/21Shares (ARKB) 0.0% (after six months: 0.21%)

  • Bitwise (BITB) 0.0% (after six months: 0.2%)

  • Invesco Galaxy Bitcoin ETF (BTCO) 0.0% (after six months: 0.39%)

Crypto 101

Hash: This is the hexadecimal number used to determine the difficulty of mining a particular cryptocurrency. Not the drug.

Hexadecimal is a numbering system with the base 16.

The number of digits in the hash corresponds to the crypto, Bitcoin, for instance, always has 64.

The Last Sip

Well folks, by the time you’re reading this, ETFs are likely already out in the wild. Things might get a little crazy today and if they do, we don’t want you to freak out. So here are some helpful tips to stay calm:

  • If the room starts spinning, put your feet firmly on the floor.

  • If you start panicking, eat a sour candy.

  • If you feel an immense surge of motion, stay calm, that’s just Bitcoin shooting to the moon.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

That's all for today! If this email got you hooked on our unhinged crypto takes, be sure to get a full dose on Twitter @GetCoffeeCrypto.

If you find yourself smiling at any of our dumb jokes, or even *learning* something - make sure to share this newsletter with your friends!

If you get 5 friends to sign up - or even enemies, we don't care - we'll send you our Bitcoin Bootcamp Ebook! This thing is packed with info and is the ultimate guide to the world’s ultimate currency.

Just hit the Click to Share button in the section below to get started!

What did you think of today's newsletter?

It's ok, you won't hurt our feelings.

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.