Elon wants Crypto on Twitter?

Hm. Well, let’s talk about wants vs. needs. Like, we want you to read the rest of the newsletter. But we know, deep inside, you really need to finish the rest of the newsletter.

So, let’s examine that hierarchy of human directives as we plunge into the crypto news of the day.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Bitcoin Mining Difficulty Reaches All-Time-High 💎 ⛏️

It’s gotten even harder to mine Bitcoin. And it was pretty hard in the first place.

Bitcoin Mining Difficulty responds proportionally to the amount of individuals trying to mine at any given time. Essentially, the more people trying to mine, the harder it gets.

Bitcoin Mining essentially asks computers to solve absurdly complex math problems, and the first miner to solve the problem is rewarded with a block of 6.25 Bitcoin.

As more miners have entered the space, the Bitcoin Mining Difficulty has reached an all time high.

According to Decrypt, this current level requires Miners to make “over 305 quintillion code breaking attempts every second in attempts to solve the computational equations.”

So what does this actually mean?

Well it’s bad news for Miners who clearly have a tough job ahead, but for the rest of us, Bitcoin becoming harder to mine could theoretically make it more valuable.

It should be noted there are other dangers to Bitcoin Mining like cave-ins, booby traps, or the ghosts of old prospectors. Oh and never forget to bring a crypto canary.

☕️ Dungeons and Dragons ReRolls on Web3 🐉 🎲

Despite very public adjustments to Wizard of the Coast’s Open Gaming License which would disallow Web3 use of their IP, the company is now backtracking again.

After severe restriction on their OGL, Wizards of the Coast was going to limit it to only third-party tabletop games.

But further backlash has had them scrambling to re-reorganize. Again.

Now, instead of shunning Web3 gaming and NFTs, Wizards of the Coast will allow third parties and Web3 based gaming to use their properties. Though this may cause many to wonder why have any licensing agreements at all?

But before any of this can legally begin, Wizard of the Coast will have to roll to see if their mage can successfully cast, “Takesies-backsies.”

☕️ Australian Regulators Flagged FTX Long Before Collapse 🇦🇺 🦘

Like a hipster bragging that they heard of a band long before you did, Australia Regulators are claiming that they flagged FTX back in March.

Australian authorities were troubled at the time by FTX’s claims that they were allowing customers to buy crypto margins with loans up to twenty times their investment.

After that initial flagging in March, the Australian Securities & Investments Commission (ASIC) sent three inquiries to FTX Australia requesting more information.

Months went by and they didn’t hear anything. So apparently Australia's Government is not all that intimidating!

Then, of course in November of 2022, 7 months after ASIC’s formal request, we all found out that some things are too good to be true.

This example precognition just lends more credence to our belief that Australia is living in the future, that’s why their calendars are one day ahead and their toilets flush backwards.

Spilling the Beans

That’s right... Elon wants crypto on Twitter 🐥 🪙

Everyone’s been critical of Elon at the helm of Twitter. Twitter users especially.

It wasn’t so long ago that the Twitter HQ in San Francisco had all those tickers with phrases like, “dictator’s asskisser, petulant pimple,” and “space Karen” floating around their office.

But one thing that we can all get on board with is Twitter implementing new features that allow for the use of crypto.

And according to a new report, that’s exactly what Elon intends to do. And he’s building the framework for it right now.

Elon, who has a very public history with payment platforms, having been a part of the founding team at PayPal, is currently in the process of implementing payment tools on Twitter.

Essentially, what Elon wants is for Twitter to become a paid platform. We’ve already seen the needle move toward that with the ill-advised, “pay to verify” blue check marks.

Elon’s push toward a new payment system for Twitter is part of his overall effort to make Twitter into an “everything app” similar to China’s WeChat.

WeChat is sort of a Frankenstein’s monster of shopping, social media, messaging, and slack-like business messaging. One important piece of this is adopting a payment tool.

Essentially, Elon wants Twitter to have Venmo, Whatsapp and eBay all in one place. Apparently Twitter is already hard at work to make that happen: applying for the regulatory licenses needed to make the app a payment platform.

According to anonymous sources, his first priority is to support fiat currencies, but he wants the system to be able to support crypto functionality in the future.

For those wondering: Fiat currency doesn’t have anything to do with those tiny, square quasi-convertibles Italians love. Fiat currency is a government issued legal tender.

Fiat currency is likely what you use everyday like the U.S. dollar or the Euro.

When Elon first purchased Twitter, many in the crypto space thought his stewardship would bring Twitter and crypto closer together, and for the first time, that does seem to be true.

In the immediate aftermath of the report, Dogecoin shot up 8%. But this has long been the relationship between Elon and Doge, his pet currency (pun intended).

Whenever Elon does something noteworthy, good or bad, Doge seems to fluctuate accordingly.

But frankly, this isn’t the first we’ve heard of crypto becoming an intrinsic part of Twitter. In December, there were rumors of TwitterCoin, a new native token.

Though it still remains to be seen if Musk’s plan will incorporate TwitterCoin and which Blockchain it would be hosted on - if at all.

Admittedly, we’re all interested and frankly a bit nervous to see a social media platform become fully entwined with a payment platform.

What if Instagram likes were legal tender or Reddit Gold represented actual gold?

It’s all up in the air, and none of us have any clue what sort of monstrous or divine amalgamation of Twitter and crypto Elon could possibly create.

But one thing’s for sure: We’re not getting boots on the red, dusty surface of Mars any time soon.

Like most nine year olds, Elon has grown out of his space phase, moved right past dinosaurs, and is planted firmly in monetizing social media.

Meme of the Day

That dog is so charming, we just can't get over it.

The Last Sip

Here are the three more unreleased Twitter features that Elon Musk is excited to roll out:

• Paywall to doxx minor celebrities

• Strong electroshock for tweets over 280 characters

• Facebook pokes circa 2008

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.