Now, in general we don’t strictly recommend buying any coins.

We’re not an investment advice service. You hear that, legal!?

But today, we’re covering the coins that people try to quickly flip to get rich. But trust me, there are better ways to do that… (I know because I’ve done it myself.)

If you don’t know me personally, I’m Jordan Fried 👋 and I’ve been in Crypto for over a decade, in that time I’ve amassed myself a fortune, and created billions of dollars in value along the way. 

As you read this email every day, I think it’s important to know the man behind the keyboard. So I took the time to write a bit about my journey and how I made my wealth in crypto. 

If you want to get to know me a bit better, check out my full story here.

Now back to your regularly scheduled email!

- Jordan

Espresso Shots

☕️ New York's New Crypto Laws ⚖️ 💰

New York’s Attorney General, Letitia James, is proposing new laws that would give her office more authority to regulate crypto in the state.

The laws themselves concern fraud and illegal activity in crypto firms. James would be able to charge individuals $10,000 for fraud violations and $100,000 for the companies themselves.

The New York State Department of Financial Services (DFS) wants New York to remain a crypto hub, but still regulating crypto safely.

The DFS is currently the “only prudential regulator with virtual asset-specific authority in the United States. It is DFS’s priority to ensure that consumers and markets are protected and New York continues to be the global financial center,” said DFS Superintendent Adrienne Harris.

Much of New York’s crypto regulation centers around the New York “Bit-licenses” which allow firms and exchanges to register and operate legally in NY.

Keep in mind that Bit-Licenses are entirely different from the “Pit-License” you need to dig massive holes in Times Square.

☕️ Binance Withdrawal Issues ↔️ 🪙

Bitcoin withdrawals from Binance were frozen twice on Sunday, leaving customers unable to withdraw funds from their accounts.

Binance blamed the failures on a “large volume of pending transactions.”

At the time, Bitcoin had 400,000 pending transactions waiting to clear. That number is now approaching 500,000.

Changpeng Zhao has stated that these technical troubles are entirely unrelated to his experimentation with the remote from Click.

☕️ Memecoin in 27 Seconds ⏲ 🏃‍♂️

Johnny Shankman aka @iamwhitelights on Twitter, posted a video demonstrating how he was able to write the smart contract for a new memecoin in just 27 seconds.

The creation of EASY_MONEY, Shankman’s new memecoin, is being heralded as “the first memecoin speedrun.”

Though Shankman has insisted he “won’t be buying it” and that the video was for educational purposes only. The lesson? Probably that anybody can do this and it’s pretty easy.

But Shankman insisted that if you thought 27 seconds was fast, you should see him have sex.

Spilling the Beans

Don't Buy This Coin! Stop it! ❌ 🛒

If you haven’t guessed by now, the coin that’s hurting crypto?

It’s PepeCoin. 🐸

The memecoin featuring Pepe the Frog reached a $502 million market cap last week.

In total, that’s about a 2100% surge in value since the coin was released last month.

And by Friday, Pepe had surged another 77% to a total $1 billion market cap.

All of this intense action by a coin that trades at less than a cent.

And on the surface, you would think that this flurry of market activity would be good for crypto as a whole, right?

Wrong.

Memecoins may seem like a boom for the industry, but that’s exactly the problem. There is no industry behind them.

Memecoins, sometimes called Altcoins or Shitcoins, are cryptocurrencies that are ostensibly created as a joke that sometimes have ridiculous bull runs or surges in popularity. 

The one thing that most Memecoins have in common is that similar to recent college graduates, they have absolutely no purpose.

As far as we've seen, not a single Memecoin has been created that has a practical use. They purely exist to fluctuate in value.

And naturally, that means that there’s quite a bit of money to be made off them.

Crypto is a financial sector known for its volatility, but Memecoin trading hits levels of a volatility that no sane person can recommend.

For example, in the trading surrounding the PepeCoin run, one user sold $2 million of PepeCoin, but due to slippage, had already lost $350,000 before their trade went through. (More on slippage later.)

Another user sold $678,000 worth of Pepe earlier this month and drove the price of the Memecoin down 50%.

Those are levels of volatility that we just can’t recommend engaging in.

And again, it’s a bad look for all of crypto when coins like Pepe drastically increase in value.

It’s a sign that the space doesn’t take itself seriously. You shouldn’t just be able to make a currency up and have it take off like this.

But hey, didn’t somebody just make up Bitcoin and Ethereum one day?

Yes, but real cryptocurrencies weren’t so much as made up as they were invented because they have real, functional uses.

Bitcoin was built for transactions in secure, decentralized networks and Ethereum is used to validate transactions and secure a network.

You can’t just put a popular meme on a piece of digital paper and say that it has monetary value.

I mean, yes, we get it, it’s irreverent and disrespectful, it’s kind of funny.

This is a comedic, crypto newsletter. We love jokes. We write them every day.

But maybe the actual money doesn’t need to be funny.

Meme of the Day

Memecoins... Memecoins everywhere...

Crypto 101

Slippage: When executing a trade on a decentralized exchange in the crypto market, it doesn't occur instantaneously. The decentralized exchange must locate a suitable buyer for the token you're selling and a seller for the token you're purchasing. Due to price fluctuations, the values of the assets being sold and bought might change during this process.

This price discrepancy is referred to as "slippage." Slippage can be both beneficial and detrimental. In some cases, slippage results in higher-than-anticipated profits rather than losses, but it is often the other way around.

Slippage is most prevalent in the highly volatile Memecoin market within the crypto sphere.

The Last Sip

Just to show that we’re not bad sports. Here are some of our favorite, entirely nonsensical Memecoins (and their market caps). These are all real, by the way.

• Baby Doge Coin - $285,280,339. If you thought Doge Coin wasn’t cute enough, let me present you with ickle, wittle Baby Doge Coin, trading at almost $300 million.

• C*M Rocket - $30,114. Wasn’t sure that my editor was going to let us run this one. As if it needed to get any grosser, the ticker is “C*MMIES.”

• Garlicoin - $1,106. You know that feeling when you walk into a kitchen and ask someone what they’re making because something, “smells delicious,” but you find out that they’ve barely started cooking? Then you feel stupid. This Memecoin may not be able to replicate that entire series of events, but it can certainly make you feel stupid.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

That's all for today! If this email got you hooked on our unhinged crypto takes, be sure to get a full dose on Twitter @GetCoffeeCrypto.

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.