Sin.

Some people say we’re full of it. But if we are, not all sins are equally damning.

Whether it’s stealing candy from the store or sacrificing your nephew to a big eldritch god with no face, all of us have done something going on.

But there’s one sin that could cost you everything.

Not your soul. Something far more important.

Your portfolio.

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Espresso Shots

☕️ Crypto Crime Down in 2023 🚓 🔻

Crypto Crime has fallen 65% in 2023, according to a mid-year update from blockchain data firm, Chainalysis.

Though crypto prices rose this year, which is usually good for scammers, scammers also made 77% less in 2023, a drop of roughly $3.3 billion.

As the report notes: “Usually, positive price movements translate to higher scam revenue, likely because increased market exuberance and FOMO make victims more susceptible to scammers’ pitches. But 2023’s drastic scam decline bucks that long-standing trend.”

Ransomware, however, is on the rise. In fact, this is its second-most popular year ever, extorting an estimated $449 million in 2023.

Ransomware, of course, is bad for all of us. But it’s incredible for the ski mask industry, duffel bag sales, and the construction companies behind dramatically tall parking structures.

☕️ American Government Moves Silk Road BTC 🛣 ➡

The American Government has moved $300 million worth of Bitcoin confiscated in the Silk Road investigations.

The U.S. Department of Justice moved the Bitcoin to new addresses through two transactions on Wednesday.

This is most likely a sign that the DOJ is preparing to sell. But it’s not the first time: an astounding $215 million worth of Silk Road-linked BTC was auctioned off last March.

For buyers worried about acquiring funds linked to the drug trade, just know that this confiscated BTC contains far less trace blood and cocaine than the average American dollar.

Spilling the Beans

This Deadly Sin Could Kill Your Investments 💀 ⚰️

You’d think greed would be the cause of your downfall, right?

Greed is the perfect sin to push you into making the worst financial decisions. You always want more, you take unnecessary risks. And so on.

But no. It’s not Greed.

(It may help if you read the next couple sentences in a tent revival preacher voice)

What we’re here to talk about today, my dear Coffee & Crypto flock, is the sin of Temptation.

The devil comes in many forms. His tricks are endless and enticing. And he often comes in the form…

Of Celebrity Crypto spokespeople.

(Okay, you can stop doing the voice now)

Celebrity involvement in crypto has been nothing short of a debacle.

It reached its zenith at the 2022 Superbowl, right before FTX sent everything crashing.

This was of course, not before, celebrities like Larry David, Tom Brady, and Steph Curry took the time to endorse FTX.

And it recently came to light that even Taylor Swift, contrary to the narrative that her masterful PR team has weaved, didn’t turn down FTX as a result of due diligence.

Nope. FTX turned her down.

The internet loves a girl boss, but it seems Taylor was just as big a sucker as the professional complainer Larry David.

And yes, it should fall on celebrities’ shoulders, or at least their managers, to make sure that the entities and products they’re endorsing meet some basic, moral qualifications.

But at the end of the day, they’re just using their skills (or their influence) to collect a paycheck.

It’s up to us, the audience, to decide whether to listen to or ignore an advertisement.

To be fair, you shouldn’t be getting your financial advice from paid advertisements. If Matt Damon’s face was the driving force behind your FTX investment, that failure is on you.

Now, if celebrity spokespeople are wolves in sheep’s clothing, crypto influencers are rabid dogs.

Unlike actors, athletes, and musicians — who actually have tangible achievements and careers to fall back on — crypto influencers will do and say anything to keep your attention and get that next dollar.

Not trusting every advertisement seems like something we should all know, but like traffic laws or affirmations of love, it’s often worth saying out loud.

Even if they’re a celebrity you adore, don’t take their word on something completely unrelated to their films. You need to remember that Danny Devito isn’t inexorably linked to Jimmy John’s subs, even if he looks like the physical embodiment of a pile of cold cuts.

They just sign his paycheck.

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Meme of the Day

Although after watching ‘The Martian’, we think Matt might have some good takes on potato futures. 🥔 🚀

Crypto 101

Crypto Dust: These are the small increments of crypto left behind after transactions or moving your funds from one exchange or wallet to another.

These collections of crypto dust have value far below the minimum trading amount.

It’s one of DeFi’s annoying little inconveniences, but these seemingly negligible amounts of crypto dust can really accumulate over time.

Though it’s still your money, you just can’t use it.

The Last Sip

Our condemnation of celebrity crypto endorsements has inspired us to comprise a list of celebrity endorsements we’d love to see.

3. O.J. Simpson’s Anger Management Class.

2. Alec Baldwin as an advocate for the NRA. “Guns don’t kill people, prop guns kill people.”

1. Caitlyn Jenner teaches defensive driving. With guest speakers Mel Gibson and Billy Joel to tell you that drunk driving is not cool.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

That's all for today! If this email got you hooked on our unhinged crypto takes, be sure to get a full dose on Twitter @GetCoffeeCrypto.

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.