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- Is Congress Coming for Crypto Bros...? 🇺🇸 🕶
Is Congress Coming for Crypto Bros...? 🇺🇸 🕶
Congress attacks crypto, and Crypto.com makes a very big oopsie. Plus more from the FTX saga.
Happy Tuesday! Okay, I know that we promised this would be one of our normal newsletters and not about the ongoing debacle at FTX. That’s true. Mostly.
But like going to a restaurant that was previously a warzone, there’s still a decent chance there’s going to be dust in your soup.
Time to pick out that lingering grit and enjoy our crypto d’jour.


Espresso Shots
☕️ N(ike)FTs! 👟 🎮
The shoe lords at Nike have launched a new web3 space, .Swoosh.
.Swoosh will not only offer NFTs, but virtual apparel that users can purchase to outfit their avatars for both Web3 gaming and the Metaverse.
These new products will be built on Polygon, an Ethereum-compatible, independent sidechain network.
Nike’s forays into crypto have already netted the company $93 million in NFT sales and $92 million in trading royalties.
Last year, Nike acquired the Web3 studio, RTFKT, and have been minting digital shoes since April, when they released Cryptokicks.
Cryptokicks are, you guessed it, digital shoes. But their real power is that once you read that name, you won’t be able to stop singing, “All the other kids with the Cryptokicks…” to the tune of Foster the People.
☕️ Crypto.com's $400 Million Oopsie 😳 💰
Crypto.com CEO, Kris Marszalek had to calm investors after the company inadvertently transferred $400 million in funds last weekend.
The $400 million went to rival exchange, Gate.io.
Marszalek assured Crypto.com users that the company is solvent and there’s nothing to worry about. The funds were never sent anywhere that they couldn’t be recovered.
“Our platform is performing business as usual,” said Marszalek, “People are depositing, people are withdrawing, people are trading, there’s pretty much normal activity just at a heightened level.”
But maybe Sam Bankman-Fried’s assurances that everything was, “fine,” are too fresh in investors' heads because users withdrew $45 million from Crypto.com since the incident. It's an anxious time in crypto!
The Crypto.com arena in Los Angeles is now nervously scrolling through pictures of FTX Arena's empty signage.
☕️ DeFi Doing... Great?
Trading volumes in DeFi hit $32 billion over the past week.
After the FTX collapse, it seems that the shockwaves spread throughout crypto. Everything went down, companies are scrambling, and investigations are underway.
But in the midst of all this, the vibes in DeFi have been outstanding. And there’s a simple reason for that.
All of the trouble and heartache, the lack of transparency and misplaced or disappeared customer funds: It’s been occurring on centralized exchanges.
So, where should you take your money? To a decentralized exchange. See: DeFi.
There are pros and cons to using a decentralized exchange.
In the negatives, you need to already hold digital assets to qualify and the user interface is significantly more complicated making it harder for new users to onboard.
On the plus side, they’re more secure. You hold the keys and decentralized exchanges aren't subject to the withdrawal freezes and corporate turbulence that has defined crypto winter.
It’s nice to see a bright spot in what has been a decidedly dark period for crypto. We hope crypto continues to DeFi expectations. <- Self-Boo. We’re sorry.

Spilling the Beans
Congress Comes for the Crypto Bros 🕶 🤑

The Right Honorable "Crypto Bro" is called into Hearings
In a discussion of the fallout of the FTX saga, Congressman Brad Sherman didn’t hold back in his critique of “crypto bros.”
“The sudden collapse this week of one of the largest cryptocurrency firms in the world has been a dramatic demonstration of both the inherent risks of digital assets and the critical weaknesses in the industry that has grown around them.”
Sherman’s not alone in his concerns, Massachusetts Senator and proud indigenous pundit, Elizabeth Warren has been vocal in her concerns about crypto.
The collapse of one of the largest crypto platforms shows how much of the industry appears to be smoke and mirrors. We need more aggressive enforcement and I'm going to keep pushing @SECGov to enforce the law to protect consumers and financial stability.
— Elizabeth Warren (@SenWarren)
12:10 AM • Nov 10, 2022
But to the distinguished Senator’s point: enforcement requires established regulation - something our financial system currently lacks.
There are kids facedown in the pool and our lifeguard is still learning how to swim.
Sherman and Warren both agree that Washington has been slow to regulate crypto and far too friendly with crypto billionaires. After all, politicians like money.
“To date,” said Sherman, “efforts by billionaire crypto bros to deter meaningful legislation by flooding Washington with millions of dollars in campaign contributions and lobbying spending have been effective.”
This may seem like a pretty clear reference to Sam Bankman-Fried’s $39.8 million donated to the Democratic party. But Sherman also invoked Ryan Salame, another FTX cofounder, who made a similarly large donation to the Republican party.
Crypto bros have yet to respond, most likely because they can’t hear the criticism through their gaming headsets and they can’t see the criticism through the vape cloud enveloping their dual monitors.

Meme of the Day
DeFi is IT. 😎 🎈


The Last Sip
Inspired by Nike’s good work, we thought of some other shoewear we’d like to see enter the crypto space.
Crypto-Crocs: Users can bid on those novelty rubber pieces to stick into the holes of your digital crocs. Apparently, they’re called “Jibbitz” and made some unfulfilled mother stupid rich.
BirkenstockChain: this is the foundation that everything is built on, slip-on sandals for crunchy Americans and German tourists.
OpenSperries: Buy and sell used Sperrys, in the never-ending quest to attain the stinkiest, used boat shoe. If socks enter the chat, that user will be banned for life.
Stay Caffeinated,
Coffee & Crypto Team
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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.