On the first day of Cryptmas my true love gave to me… a  Bored Ape and a gas fee. 🎵 🎄

You see where we’re going with this, right? It’s gonna be eleven more days of this song, baby. Also we don’t know who our true love is.

That’s the beauty of the anonymous nature of the internet! Let's get into it.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Is There Bad Blood Between Taylor Swift & FTX? 🩸 🎤

Apparently FTX got into the late stages of a sponsorship deal with T-Swift before the negotiations fell to pieces in Spring of last year.

The deal entailed a potential tour sponsorship as well as NFT ticket functionality. 

FTX had also sought, “a light degree of endorsement,” from Swift on social media. Sources close to Swift claim that she had never really considered agreeing to the deal.

After spending 60 consecutive weeks at number one on the Billboard’s top 200, it’s not exactly like Swift was thirsty for sponsorship deals.

Apparently, off the record, Swift told FTX, “you’re the problem, it’s you.”

☕️ Bitcoin Senator: Crypto Bill “Might’ve Stopped FTX” 🛑 🪙

Senator Cynthia Lummis (R - Wyo.) aka “The Bitcoin Senator” feels that if passed, her bill might have stopped the FTX disaster.

Lummis partnered with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D - NY.) to sponsor the Responsible Financial Innovation Act. This bill would give the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) the power to set regulatory standards for crypto.

“The type of rehypothecation that was going on with FTX and some of the other attributes of FTX which caused it to fail would have been prevented had the Lummis-Gillibrand bill been in effect,” said Lummis.

Rehypothecation is when a bank, exchange, or other financial institution uses collateral posted by their clients for their own purposes.

We knew what rehypothecation meant without looking it up. That’s why you read this newsletter, because we know things like that. We certainly didn’t think it meant, “reintroducing a hypothesis.” That was you. You thought that.

☕️ The Metaverse Finally Has… Landlords? Really? 📬 🏡

The metaverse platform, Decentraland, has announced a feature that will allow those who own LAND to rent out the rights to their digital properties in the marketplace.

That’s right, landlords will be one of the foundational properties of the metaverse.

LAND owners are classified in the metaverse as any user who, “owns the smart contract for LAND whether it be a parcel, estate, or both.”

This language reads like an 1865 treatise on who has the right to vote.

Let’s get this straight: You’re building a universe, essentially reality, from the ground up, and one of your first thoughts is, “who is going to own and regulate these internal properties?”

We look forward to future metaverse updates which will include staples such as mosquitos, gridlocked traffic, and disease.

Spilling the Beans

Is Ledger the Apple of Crypto? 🍎

Yesterday, we covered the slickest, most recent model of Ledger’s cold wallet, designed by Tony Fadell, the designer behind some of Apple’s most iconic products.

In touting Stax, ledger’s new cold wallet, Ledger CEO Pascal Gauthier was quick to draw comparisons between the new cold wallet and the Apple timeline.

“You go first the iPod and then iPod Touch, and then eventually you get to the iPhone,” said Gauthier, “And it takes a few years. Right now, we are almost pre-iPods at Ledger and Stax is the iPod.”

But maybe the comparisons between Ledger and Apple don’t end at their shiny new products.

Gauthier plans to position Ledger as the Web3 lifestyle corporation. And they’re in the perfect position to make that happen.

Last November was, as Gauthier described, “A breakthrough moment,” for Ledger as their sales nearly doubled.

While crypto winter is taking a bite out of the rest of the sector, with plummeting numbers and mass-layoffs, Ledger is actually doing… really well.

The instability of FTX is actually causing more customers than ever to flock to the security of Ledger’s cold wallets.

This may be less of an Apple moment and more of the Zoom road to success. 

When Covid ended millions of jobs and most companies took serious licks, Zoom stock skyrocketed as they became the gold standard for conference calls.

Eat shit, Skype. 

Anyway, furthering the similarities between Apple and Ledger, Gauthier now has plans to take Ledger public. This is certainly one we’re going to keep an eye on. 

You’re likely to hear, “It’s like buying Apple Stock in 1983,” from any investor excited about, well, literally anything.

This is one of those rare cases, though, where Ledger may actually be Apple in the early ‘80s. Though, of course, only time will tell. 

Ledger CEO, Gauthier, has yet to comment on any copyright infringement between the Ledger Stax and IHOP’s Stax device, a rechargeable, self buttering, pancake.

Meme of the Day

Only Mark Wahlberg and Senator Lummis's bill could've stopped this!

The Last Sip

Here are the three other biggest events that would have been changed if the Lummis-Gillibrand Bill had been passed.

• The Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria wouldn’t have been assassinated, plunging humanity into The Great War.

• Mary Jo Kopechne would have never gotten into that car on Chappaquiddick island. Lummis’s bill was not only intended to regulate crypto, but also to revoke the licenses of every Kennedy, past or present.

• My brother John wouldn’t have majored in Art History. He’s still living at home. See you at Xmas, John!

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.