☕️ The Cancer Curing Crypto 💊 🚑

Forget chemo, there's a life-saving secret in your wallet.

It’s December!

If you were doing the mustache thing, stop pretending that was for men’s health. You were just curious about how you’d look and maybe kinda liked it. 

Now, comb that lip warmer out of the way, it’s time for a long sip of today’s news.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Kraken Kracks Down 🐙 📉

The winds of crypto winter are ripping through companies and cryptocurrency exchange, Kraken, is just the latest to suffer.

Kraken announced this week that they were forced to lay off 30% of their workforce, roughly 1,000 jobs, “in order to adapt to current market conditions.”

Though Kraken had tripled its workforce in recent years, this year has been particularly brutal, marked by, “significantly lower trading volumes and few client sign-ups.

Though Kraken is rolling out a plan to help the recently departed workers as well as to accommodate the extra workload for those who remain.

We know this is, at times, a slightly humorous newsletter, but 1,000 people lost their livelihoods. We won’t be Kraken any jokes about this one.

☕️ No Web 5... Yet. 👨‍💻 5️⃣

Jack Dorsey, the co-founder and former-CEO of Twitter, will not be going ahead with his plan to trademark “Web5.”

This intention was made public on Twitter by TBD, a subsidiary of Block, both projects created by Dorsey.

There was a good bit of backlash against this, well, attempt to control the future. Barely six hours later, TBD announced that it was canning the idea.

In an official statement, TBD defended its actions, claiming that the move was not an attempt to, “prevent others from using Web5,” but rather to, “establish an initial way to defend its principles.”

No word yet from Web4, the creators of Web4 Coin, even though they should have been next in the pecking order. 

Web4 seems to hate grammar even more than centralized commerce. The slogan emblazoned across all of their branding is, “We Are Here to Create New World.” Try not reading that in a Borat voice.

☕️ Warrants Issued For Do Kwon Co-Conspirators 🚨 🚔

The warrants were issued after new, suspicious details came to light regarding these individuals earning massive amounts of money by selling before Terra went belly up.

Speaking out against the warrant, Daniel Shin pointed out that he, “left two years before the collapse of Terra and Luna.”

Meanwhile, Do Kwon is on the run while still insisting that he is not, in fact, on the run. Speculators currently believe Do Kwon may be somewhere in Dubai.

When the South Korean police served these warrants, they reportedly asked Do Kwon’s colleagues, “If all of your friends were using illegal methods to make billions of dollars by jumping off a bridge, would you?”

Spilling the Beans

Crypto... For Good?

One of the biggest queries about crypto from beginners is often as simple as, “what does it do?

Well it turns out, in addition to serving as virtual currency for transactions and storing value... Crypto can be a pretty powerful force for good.

Just recently, the Ethereum Blockchain has become a player in the international fight against cancer.

A research paper was released this year entitled, Swarm learning for decentralized artificial intelligence in cancer histopathology.

Now, we can't tell you what any of that means but, we can tell you that the blockchain allows for the immutable sharing of data.

That has allowed cancer researchers to share their AI parameters simultaneously without the need for a centralized coordinator. The contributors claim that the Ethereum’s “smart contracts” feature has been invaluable in their research.

But in addition to innovations in medical science, crypto has been crucial to nonprofits and charitable giving in nearly every sector.

The Giving Block is an organization that outfits charities and nonprofits with the ability to accept Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other digital currencies as donations.

This is a crucial feature when crypto comprises so much of the giving from younger donors.

In an interview with our Coffee & Crypto team, Pat Duffy, one of the co-founders of the Giving Block, explained crypto’s important role in charitable giving.

“The average cash donor in the US is 65 years old, while the average crypto donor is a young, high net worth individual making an average salary of $111k a year,” said Duffy.

“Crypto has provided nonprofits with an opportunity to fundraise from this valuable demographic. Over $100 million crypto has been donated through The Giving Block since 2018, making an impact on millions of lives around the globe.”

So, the next time that your Uncle Dave tells you that crypto is just, “a pyramid scheme wrapped in a Ponzi,” you can shoot back:

“I’m sorry, Uncle Dave, do you hate charitable giving? Are you in a war against the world’s oceans? Do you want cancer to win?

Meme of the Day

'Tis the season!

The Last Sip

Despite the very real impact that crypto is having on charities and nonprofits, we created three fictional, crypto-based charities.

  • Block-Chains: An anti-incarceration nonprofit that gives access to bail bonds and prevents innocent people from facing jail time.

  • Bit-Coins: A charity fund that gives a little bit of spare change to every unhoused person.

  • Seth-ereum: A valiant, media conglomerate that stops Seth Green from creating ill-conceived television shows. 

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.