That’s right, that old guy with the white beard outside your coffee shop wearing the “Repent all ‘ye sinner, Repent” sign? He’s got it right.

The end times are upon us and there’s no telling who will survive. But it looks like it might be you and me, the cockroaches, hoards of marauders and mutants and possibly… our favorite crypto currencies?

Let’s ride this newsletter down to the end of the world.

Espresso Shots

☕️ FTX Corporate Creditors Revealed 📄 🔍

As the investigation into FTX continues, there have been some massive names revealed on FTX’s list of corporate creditors.

Of course, there are those in the crypto space who were exposed such as Coinbase, Binance Capital Management, Yuga Labs, Doodles, and even Reddit.

Two major banks were named in the creditor matrix, Wells Fargo and Citigroup.

Pharmacy CVS, Netflix, Comcast, and Doordash were also among the list of corporate creditors.

FTX owes the top 50 names on its list of creditors an estimated $3.1 billion.

Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is already setting up faulty cameras in SBF’s future cell.

☕️ Ted Cruz Wants Crypto Cheetos 🧀 🪙

Ted Cruz wants Crypto Cheetos

Senator Ted Cruz, once presidential hopeful and owner of the worst face in politics, wants DC’s vending machines to accept crypto.

Crypto is still a heated topic up on The Hill, but Cruz is thinking with his belly. He wants crypto-compatible food service operators and vending machines in the Capitol complex.

Despite his myriad personal flaws, Cruz has long been bullish on crypto and dreams of making Texas into a crypto mining hub.

Cruz has also asked that the Capitol’s private planes accept crypto, in case there’s ever a hurricane in DC and he needs to abandon everyone.

☕️ ChatGPT Passes Law School Exam ⚖️ 🖥️

ChatGPT, the impressive new AI that has been the talk of Silicon Valley and, well, just about every place else, has passed a series of law school exams.

ChatGPT represents a new level of AI, one capable of learning complex systems and creating original content with passable human grammar.

ChatGPT did pass four graduate level law school exams, but the AI’s average was only about a C+.

Make fun of ChatGPT all you want, but if a robot barely passes the bar, it’s still a robot lawyer. 

Though maybe not a judge. But definitely some billboards in the American Southwest that say, “If you have mesothelioma, you already have your AI lawyer.”

Spilling the Beans

Crypto and the End of the World 🌎 💥

Nuclear war. Zombie Apocalypse. A really mean fungus, apparently?

It could be anything from a long list of causes, but the results are always the same.

Leaning, shelled out skyscrapers, gray sky, a young girl who may be humanity’s last hope.

The end of the world and the post-apocalyptic societies it creates have always captured our imaginations.

Why? Well, partially, because it seems like it could happen at any time.

The countless movies and tv shows dedicated to the subject never open on some secret lab where the reactor core is melting down.

They start in a small, suburban town that has no idea that thousands of miles away an Egyptian grain farmer displaying rabies-like symptoms bit their manager who in turn bit a police officer who…

Anyway. Audiences like this content because they imagine what they would do in this scenario. Where would they go, who would they collect, and how they would survive.

And honestly, some days, cautiously guiding a band of survivors through a bombed out highway seems much more appealing than commuting to your 9-5 again.

But in this post-apocalyptic scenario, what’s the economy like?

In Fallout it’s bottle caps. In Mad Max it’s water. Like Dune. Or maybe gasoline, whatever they’re trading in Max Max, it’s definitely liquid. That place looks dry.

In the most desperate of apocalypse scenarios, there might not even be any sort of currency. And they’d have to use a barter economy and trade furs and canned goods. 

Also bullets would make sense. A lot of people online are saying bullets.

But there’s one currency that may be uniquely positioned to survive in a financial apocalypse - though maybe not one that wipes out the internet. 

And that, of course, is cryptocurrency.

Crypto’s decentralized nature makes it a lot more impervious to physical harm than fiat currency.

You can kill a man and a country, but you can’t kill an idea. Though, people have been trying for thousands of years.

Considering wars, famine, pandemics, all your run of the mill crises, Wall Street tends to react in panic. Meanwhile, crypto has largely held steady, in large part due to it's decentralized nature.

While the Stock Market as we know it, is built around a centralized financial system. Like Christmas lights, you unplug from that outlet and every light goes out.

Crypto’s decentralization makes it impervious to this kind of domino failure. Crypto exchanges can collapse, countries can fight, and the blockchain continues to write down transactions.

Even if central power grids go down in entire countries, crypto could still be traded and mined from computers with independent generators.

Crypto can also be operable through nodes and independent satellite connections. 

Now obviously, if things get really bad, you're probably not gonna have time to whip out your cold wallet and fight off some bad guys, but as financial systems become more volatile, Crypto becomes a more appealing alternative. 

Plus, it's more portable than gold, or even bullets! And when it comes to intangible commodities, Bitcoin and other crypto like it are actually operating on some of the most robust, secure networks in the world.

So, when the sky starts falling. Don’t liquidate your tokens. You’re going to be needing that Dogecoin to buy soup or to pay off ChatGPT. 

Meme of the Day

Well, that's a weight off my shoulders! 

The Last Sip

If ChatGPT can pass a law school exam, here are a couple other writing tasks we’d like to see undertaken by this crafty new AI:

• A Maid of Honor Speech.

• Report Card Comments for a 4th Grader They’ve Never Met.

• My Last Will and Testament.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.