We hope this newsletter finds you well, but if you’re reading this in the prison library or on a contraband cell phone, that means that you’ve gone to jail for your St. Patty’s-Day crimes.

Just know that we’re not here to judge you. We get it. But when you do get back to your phone, you’re not gonna believe what you missed: crypto was flying this weekend.

Espresso Shots

☕️ More American Banks Positioned to Fail 🏦 📉

A recent study found that almost 200 banks may be vulnerable to the same kind of bank runs that undid Silicon Valley, Signature, and Silvergate.

The analysis, conducted by the Social Science Research Network (SSRN,) concluded:

“Even if only half of uninsured depositors decide to withdraw, almost 190 banks are at a potential risk of impairment to insured depositors, with potentially $300 billion of insured deposits at risk,” read the SSRN.

It would seem that the crypto-friendly banks aren’t the only ones at risk, and this financial forest fire is just one discarded cigarette butt away from a raging inferno.

And here we were thinking that the greatest contributor to potential banking collapses was an over-dependence on Greco-roman architecture.

☕️ The $2 Million Bitcoin Bet 🎰 📈

A Twitter user with, apparently, a lot of money, was willing to bet any user a million dollars that the U.S. will enter hyperinflation and Bitcoin will hit $1 million.

And Balaji Srinivasan, the outspoken former Chief Technological Officer for Coinbase, took that action.

“I am moving $2m into USDC for the bet. I will do it with Medlock and one other person, sufficient to prove the point,” wrote Srinivasan.

“See my next tweet. Everyone else should just go buy Bitcoin, as it’ll be much cheaper for you than locking one up for 90 days.”

That’s right, Srinivasan expects shit to hit the fan. He’s betting the US Banking System is mere months away from complete collapse.

If that happens, Srinivasan, among others, expect Bitcoin to climb as high as $1 Million. With Bitcoin around $27,500, that’s a 4,000% increase prediction… wow.

This is a very exciting time to be a bystander watching on Twitter, but a very shameful time to be Balaji Srinivasan’s Gambler’s Anonymous sponsor.

☕️ 2023’s Biggest Hack Lands in North Korea 🇰🇵 📡

Euler Finance was the largest crypto hack of 2023, with about $197 million stolen from the company’s chain.

The crypto community has been following this massive theft with interest and the most recent development is that one of the wallets tied to the cyber attack has transferred 100 Ethereum to an address associated with previous North Korean hacks.

Euler offered a $20 million bounty to anyone able to identify the hacker or wrangle the funds back.

And Micheal Bentley, Euler’s CEO, is, as you would expect, pretty upset about the whole thing.

This heist is made even worse by the fact that Bentley had his company undergo ten security audits in the past year to prevent exactly this kind of thing from happening.

But we like to think that 100 ETH will do a lot of good in North Korea, where it will be used to purchase small batch soju, the finest kimchi, and enriched plutonium.

Spilling the Beans

Bitcoin Takes Flight 🚀

Bitcoin may be shooting up like a rocket, but understanding why, isn't all that complicated. It's not - as they say - rocket science.

We’ll lay it all out for you and examine what’s causing so many to flock to Bitcoin.

On Sunday, Bitcoin climbed to $28,500, its highest point since June 11th of 2022.

Now, there are some pessimists that believe Bitcoin’s behavior may be a false flag or just a random bump.

It’s a phenomenon that investors morbidly call a,“dead cat bounce” in which a failing stock briefly shoots up before resuming a negative downwards trend.

And yes, Bitcoin did fall slightly lower by the end of Sunday.

But at the time of this writing, Bitcoin has held steady, hovering around $27,500.

There has of course been one major series of developments that has propelled Bitcoin back into the spotlight: The U.S.’s banking crisis.

The closures of the Silvergate, Silicon Valley, and Signature Banks have confidence in the American government’s financial expertise at an all time low, as banks look precarious, people are looking for alternative ways to store their money.

This weekend’s headlines did nothing to detract from these growing fears.

On Sunday, Credit Suisse, once considered to be one of the most profitable banks in the world, collapsed and was sold off to a competitor for pennies on the dollar.

The deal will undoubtedly cause significant aftershocks in the financial markets and it’s beginning to feel like we’re only at the beginning of a massive global banking crisis.

Which brings us to the simple truth about Bitcoin: it’s an alternative to traditional finance. In many ways the success of banks is inversely related to the success of Bitcoin.

That’s become increasingly clear these past few weeks.

A week ago, when the FDIC and the Federal Reserve issued a joint statement detailing their plans to form bridge banks and get customers of the failed banks access to their funds, Bitcoin went up 10%.

“Today, we are taking decisive actions to protect the U.S. economy by strengthening public confidence in our banking system,” the statement read.

“This step will ensure that the U.S. banking system continues to perform its vital roles of protecting deposits and providing access to credit to households and businesses in a manner that promotes strong and sustainable economic growth.”

In total, since the news of these banks’ failure broke, Bitcoin has gone up about 36%.

And true to the maxim that a rising tide lifts all boats, Ethereum is also up about 27% in the same period, trading near $1,800.

Meanwhile, Bank stocks have had some of their scariest weeks in years. First Republic Bank, one of the largest banks in the country, has seen their stock drop by 80% this month.

Crypto isn’t shooting up because of confidence in the American financial system, it’s shooting up because investors want out.

As we saw in that multi million dollar Bitcoin bet. If Bitcoin skyrockets astronomically, it’s not only because of trust in Bitcoin, it’s because of the lack of trust in the US Dollar.

So, we’re not telling you to bet the whole farm on crypto.

But as American banks and subsequently, the U.S. economy teeter closer to the edge, the lush, green pastures of crypto are only going to get greener.

Meme of the Day

Hold on, folks. It's gonna be a wild ride.

Crypto 101

Altcoins: Rather than encompassing a specific type of coin, this essentially refers to every cryptocurrency that isn’t Bitcoin.

There are thousands of altcoins, some are literally worthless. Some, like Ethereum, are worth vast sums in the Billions.

The Last Sip

Here are some more purchases the North Koreans could spend that 100 Ethereum on.

• Gold-plated intercontinental ballistic missiles.

• Even better synchronization training for those spooky morning stretches.

• An additional 800,000 “volunteers” to fight the American imperialists.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.