It’s Thursday and that means the work week is almost terminated.

Speaking of Terminator, did you know that the role of the eponymous killer robot was originally offered to O.J. Simpson? He turned it down. He knew he’d be too busy with killer roles in the 90’s to start a franchise in the 80’s. All of this is true, well mostly.

Hope you’re thirsty, cause today we got the “juice.” 🧃

Espresso Shots

☕️ Bitcoin Falls to Lowest Levels in Two Years 📉 🚨

Bitcoin has now dropped below the $16,000 mark. This is the lowest the currency has traded since November 2020.

That’s a 23% dip in the past week and a far cry from Bitcoin’s all-time high of $69,044. Ethereum is taking its licks as well. It’s currently priced below $1,100 after dropping nearly 18% yesterday.

But what could it be? What could be driving down our favorite crypto-currencies? Maybe it could have something to do with the collapse of one of the largest Crypto exchanges in the world? 

Open your eyes, open your nose, and smell the blood and smoke on the wind. 🩸💨

☕️ Massive Layoffs in the Metaverse 🖥 📉

Following in the footsteps of Musk’s Twitter layoffs and Roman Centurions’ tradition of decimating any legion that displeased them, Zuckerberg has announced that Meta will cut over 11,000 jobs or roughly 13% of its workforce.

Zuckerberg cited that the cuts were the result of the covid lockdown, wider economic trends, and increased competition leading to much lower revenue than expected.

Reality Labs, the VR division of the Metaverse, has had its own harsh dose of reality with $3.6 billion in losses reported in Q3.

“We’re making all these changes for two reasons: our revenue outlook is lower than we expected at the beginning of this year, and we want to make sure we’re operating efficiently across both Family of Apps and Reality Labs,” said Zuckerberg.

Zuckerberg delivered this news on top of a building with a group of other, human-looking replicants. One of the replicants worried that despite the restructuring, more jobs may be, “lost in time, like tears in the rain.”

☕️ Split Government Expected After Shock Midterm Elections 🇺🇸 🗳

Tuesday night’s election left many shocked across the country. The night was supposed to be a bloodbath: a ‘Red Wave’ expected to decimate Democratic majorities in the House, Senate, and Governors’ Mansions across the country. It was anything but.

Democrats won tough Gubernatorial races in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin and flipped a senate seat in Pennsylvania. Democrats look poised to hold onto a very slim Senate majority thanks to the Vice President’s tie-breaking vote.

Meanwhile Republicans are expected to win a very slim 1 to 5 seat majority in the House, falling far short of the 40-seat-majority some predicted.

As for crypto, several pro-blockchain politicians from both parties have won their races. We’re expecting this to pave the way for crypto regulation, though it would have to be bipartisan to get through a split congress.

If regulation doesn’t come soon, crypto will continue to be at the mercy of the US Court System. Much like how me and my buddy Bart were at the mercy of the juvenile justice system when we simultaneously clogged every toilet in our middle school.

Spilling the Beans

FTX Falls Apart

It’s been the most batshit 48 hours that crypto has ever seen.

FTX, once one of the biggest players in the space, is now worth $1 and borderline insolvent.

And Crypto’s response has been very much like how a medieval town reacts to vikings. The wells are poisoned, thatch huts are burning, and livestock are running rampant.

The majority of FTX’s legal team have resigned. Much like Aang the Avatar, when the world needed them most, they vanished. You would think a legal team would stick around for the hard times, but this may be the first case of lawyers proving to be untrustworthy.

Despite the devastation the move has wrought, Binance is now walking away from their proposed FTX acquisition deal.

After the single day that Binance had access to FTX’s financials, they decided not to complete the deal.

But the devastation of FTX’s collapse, much like toothpaste, can’t be put back in the tube. It’s an extremely volatile time.

While the deal was still underway, Changpeng Zhao sent out a company-wide memo, urging employees not to revel in the fall of FTX:

“FTX going down is not good for anyone in the industry. Do not view it as a ‘win for us.’ User confidence is severely shaken.”

The decision not to acquire FTX came yesterday with an official statement from the company:

“As a result of corporate due diligence, as well as the latest news reports regarding mishandled customer funds and alleged US agency investigations, we have decided that we will not pursue the potential acquisition of FTX.com.”

As of this moment, FTX US seems largely unaffected by the collapse of its international counterpart, though consumer trust seems unlikely to return to the brand.

If you have funds on FTX.com, withdrawals are still halted and it's unclear if FTX will be able to fill them. Without a knight in shining armor, FTX looks likely to file for bankruptcy.

Meme of the Day

Not a good day to check on your investment portfolio!

The Last Sip

This dramatic series of events has left us, and many Floridians, wondering the same question:

What’s going to happen to FTX Arena in Miami?

Will it crumble to dust? Just cease to exist? There’s currently a massive FTX logo on top of the Miami Heat’s stadium, where it used to say, “American Airlines.”

The Arena’s team has admitted that the naming committee is in a bit of a limbo. Some predict they may wait for Black Friday or Cyber Monday savings before they start shopping for new names.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.