It’s March 2nd, better known by some scholars as Dr. Seuss Day. That’s right. March 2nd is when we honor the first man to think, “Nothing rhymes with this? Time to make up nonsense!”

This newsletter goes out to all the Wockets in our pockets and refusers of Green Eggs and Ham. 

So, let’s ignore the racist political cartoons and focus on the big picture, like Oh, the Places You’ll Go, in today’s newsletter.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Coinbase Intends to Cooperate With SEC 🪙 ⚖️

Despite the tensions between the Securities and Exchange Commission and, like all of crypto, Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong thinks that his firm and the SEC can get along.

Coinbase has had a nice run of it, with the announcement of their new Layer 2 network sending shares up 6%.

And Armstrong would like to continue to have amicable relationships with the SEC.

In an interview on Bloomberg TV, Armstrong claimed he has a “good relationship” with several SEC staff members and, “We’re going to continue to invest in those relationships. Our interests are aligned.”

However, if the SEC comes for Coinbase’s staking as they have for other firms, “We’re prepared to defend that in court if we need to, but we’re never looking for a fight,” said Armstrong. 

“I think we’re well within the law, given the stance the SEC has been taking regarding defining certain assets as securities.”

Essentially, the SEC is like having a drunken grizzly bear for a little brother. You love him, but you’ll put him in the ground if you have to.

☕️ Voyager Clients Vote for Restructuring Plan 🏗️ 🗳️

Voyager digital has announced that 97% of its client base with account holder claims have voted for Voyager to sell the firm’s assets to Binance.US.

Several firms bid on the remains of Voyager’s floating, bloated carcass, but Binance.US offered the highest bid at $1.022 billion.

And if the deal goes through, those clients will receive 52% of their capital back. But whether or not the Binance.US acquisition deal is still a pretty large question. 

So far both the SEC and the FTC have filed objections to the proposed takeover, citing concerns that Binance.US may not have the liquidity to handle the purchase. 

Additionally, Voyager is still under investigation by the SEC for fraud, and questions remain as to whether or not that investigation could continue after the company has been restructured.

At 97%, we haven’t seen voting this unanimous since my fourth grade Model UN motioned to have my desk put in the janitor’s closet.

☕️ Snoop Dogg Joins Crypto Casino 🎲 💰

Rapper Snoop Dogg, a vocal crypto enthusiast, has announced his plans to join Roobet as “Chief Ganjaroo Officer.”

Roobet is a crypto gambling platform that was launched in 2019. So far, it has hosted 3 billion wagers on its site, but it’s only available in certain regions. The United States is not one of them.

“Turns out, I’ve been a kangaroo this whole time,” said Snoop Dogg, referring to Roobet’s kangaroo mascot. 

“These guys are doing something different. This partnership just feels natural, and we’re going to blaze a trail for the future of online entertainment.”

Snoop Dogg is no stranger to crypto and Web3, he already owns a virtual home in the Metaverse and partnered with The Sandbox to push the “Snoopverse Early Access Pass.”

We’re convinced Snoop heard the “crip” in “crypto” and said, “say no more.”

Spilling the Beans

How High Can Bitcoin Climb? 🏔️

Bitcoin’s been a pleasant surprise for us all.

When crypto winter killed all the plants and weeded out the weak and the non-believers in the space, we all stood strong and hoped for a brighter tomorrow.

And it came. Well at least a flash of it did. 

After a brutal year for crypto with Bitcoin dropping around 66%, it’s finally bounced back and is hovering around the $24,000 mark.

It’s been said that this was going to be Bitcoin’s big bull run. BTC was going to shoot the moon and smack the gum out of the mouth of all of crypto’s naysayers.

But there are those who say this is only the beginning.

Chief among them is Adam Back, the CEO of Blockstream.

Back believes that by 2032, Bitcoin could reach $10 million.

Yes, you read that right. $10 million. With a $200 trillion market cap.

And he’s not alone. 

A similar belief was espoused by Hal Finney, a billionaire and one of crypto’s earliest pioneers.

Hal Finney has since deceased. Well, sort of. After an ALS diagnosis in 2014, Finney had himself cryogenically frozen until a cure is discovered.

Yes, frozen in a block of ice to be thawed out in the future just like Austin Powers or Walt Disney’s severed head.

You can’t afford that sort of death-defying tech unless you’re really good at what you do.

What Finney and Back both believe is that Bitcoin will hit $10 million based on its current halving cycle by 2032.

If you didn’t get a chance to read yesterday’s newsletter, the Bitcoin halving cycle occurs every time 210,000 blocks of Bitcoin are mined, this happens every four years. 

This causes the price of Bitcoin to rise and the block reward for miners to fall. And based on Bitcoin’s current growth, it’s technically not out of the realm of possibility that a single Bitcoin would net $10 million by 2032.

But Back’s predictions, like all the best ones, did come with some stipulations.

Finney couldn’t be reached for comment, as he’s cryogenically frozen.

But Back feels that for Bitcoin to hit these wondrous numbers, the technology will have to develop at the same pace.

And things will have to move pretty fast.

“I think that things will get ‘interesting’ over the next two halvings. And fast,” said Back.

“We don’t have much time to scale tech. We need somewhere for the next billion users to own their own UTXO, their own keys, with censorship-resistant cold storage without weakening main-chain security.”

In short, that means we need more secure and easier to use wallet storage for individual investors. It also means walking that fine, almost impossibly thin, divergent line between accessibility, transparency, and user security.

It’s a bold claim for a bright future, but one we’d all like to believe in.

No word on if Ethereum will be in the millions, but if that hit’s big, our office will finally be able to afford a bathroom light switch that doesn’t give you a mild electric shock.

Meme of the Day

Not yet. Hang in there, Han. I mean Hal. 

Crypto 101

DDos: Distributed Denial of Service. A Distributed Denial of Service attack is one in which hackers use a large amount of computers or devices to flood a website or network with volume. 

This overwhelms the network or app and renders it unusable to its intended users. It’s extremely annoying for both parties: the company and the customer.

Due to the distributed nature of these attacks, they’re hard to distinguish between real traffic. This has made them one of the most common types of cyber attack.

The Last Sip

Much like Hal Finney, here’s our top three things that we’d like cryogenically frozen.

• Our enemy’s assets.

• The duck pond behind our house for figure skating.

• Single serving cubes of tomato sauce for hungry Italian bachelors.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.