☕️ The Bitcoin Book of Kung Fu 🐉 🐼

🎋 These ancient techniques will make you a Crypto Master 🥋

Knowledge comes from experience, but sometimes, that’s not enough.

You’re not just going to stumble across the ability to split logs with your hand, move as silently as a panther, or develop a crypto portfolio profitable enough to buy you a winter home in the Florida Keys.

For that, you’ll need to find a master, a fiscal sensei; someone to instruct you in the ancient arts that turn your body and finances into a deadly weapon.

But you don’t have to journey to a distant, snow-capped mountaintop to find your teacher. We’ve got you covered, right here, in this newsletter.

Remember, a journey of a thousand clicks begins with a single scroll.

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Espresso Shots

☕️ FTX Permitted to Sell Holdings

At the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware Judge John Dorsey approved FTX to begin selling off its $3.4 billion in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana holdings.

This sell-off should help dig the exchange out of its massive debt, which stood at $7 billion when the exchange collapsed in November of 2022.

Mike Novogratz of Galaxy Digital has been appointed as the investment manager in charge of overseeing the sale.

If you’re concerned that this massive sell-off may impact crypto prices, fear not. FTX is currently forced to limit its selling to $100 million in tokens per week, with a potential raise to $200 million per week on an individual token basis.

Judge Dorsey would be willing to raise the amount with written authorization from the court. Additionally, Bitcoin, Ethereum, and the sale and redemption of stablecoins will not count toward the weekly maximum.

Unofficially, Judge Dorsey would probably be willing to raise this reverse allowance if FTX interim CEO John J. Ray consistently mows the lawn and takes out the trash without being asked.

☕️ Deutsche Bank to Offer Crypto Custody

Germany’s Deutsche Bank has partnered with Taurus, a Swiss fintech firm, to offer digital asset services and tokenization options to patrons.

“As the digital asset space is expected to encompass trillions of dollars of assets, it’s bound to be seen as one of the priorities for investors and corporations alike. As such, custodians must start adapting to support their clients,” said Paul Maley, Global Head of Securities for Deutsche Bank, in a press release shared with Decrypt.

Taurus is a prominent fintech firm with a focus on crypto. Taurus has a presence on four continents and raised $65 million in series-B funding earlier this year, with Deutsche Bank chief among the investors.

It’s a promising partnership and we have to admire Deutsche Bank for partnering with Taurus — even when they’re famously known for being stubborn and materialistic. Still, it could be possible that Taurus has a rising Sagittarius Moon, which would balance it out.

☕️ AI Legislation Proposed in California

An AI Bill was proposed on September 13 by Assemblymember Ash Kalra that allows actors to nullify previous contracts regarding their digital likenesses if a lawyer or labor union didn’t represent the performer.

“Absent a collective bargaining agreement between the union and studios to fairly address digital replication of a performer’s work, AB 459 is an expedient legislative alternative that will protect performers’ rights from the real threat of this form of AI,” Kalra said in an official statement.

AI exploitation is one of the major demands on the table for the current WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike, as well as increases in royalties and compensations, and health and retirement benefits.

The strike has been going on since May, but this kind of governmental intervention may help to hasten a swift resolution.

But if AB 459 is approved, there’s no telling how this AI bill may affect the gubernatorial dreams of Arnold Schwarzenegger androids sent from the future.

Spilling the Beans

The Bitcoin Book of Kung Fu 🐉 🐼

Take a seat. Cross-legged, if you’re flexible enough. That would really match the tone we’re going for.

Crypto, like any passion worth pursuing, has an art to it.

But unlike watercolor or pottery, crypto is closer to a martial art than the bohemian pastimes of leisurely Saturdays.

And like a martial art, crypto takes patience, dedication, and an iron will.

Crypto is thousands of years younger than Kung Fu, but to become a master, it always comes down to basics.

So let’s get to the fundamentals.

Dollar-Cost Averaging

This calm, measured style of crypto investing is as placid as a lake in winter.

Dollar-Cost Averaging (DCA) simply consists of buying small amounts of the same crypto at regular intervals, regardless of price.

The general style for DCA is a monthly purchase, twelve times a year, but the timeline is up to you.

DCA both reduces risk to your portfolio and tends to tamper down the impact of market volatility on your investment.

It’s not the most exciting style of investing, but it’s been proven effective time and time again.

Day Trading

This fast, frenetic style of crypto investing is as wild and powerful as a raging hurricane.

Day trading has been around as long as the stock market. Day trading historically has meant buying and selling securities on the same day, often many times a day, to take advantage of short-term price changes.

Crypto day trading functions exactly like traditional day trading, just sub in securities for crypto.

You can make a lot of money by day trading, but this isn’t a passive investment — it’s a full-time job.

And for crypto, it’s not just day trading, it’s day and night trading. Unlike the stock market, the crypto market doesn’t close just because the sun sets.

You might have to keep some pretty odd hours to stay successfully tuned in to the market fluctuations. Money doesn’t sleep, and neither will you.

But, if you can set regimented, limited trading hours for yourself, and treat crypto like a full-time job while preserving your sanity, this could be the investment style for you.


This is the foundation and most beloved style of crypto investing. You’ll need an iron will and the heart of a lion.

Hodling is almost the opposite of day trading. You buy, hold your position, and wait.

You can’t let yourself be rattled by short-term price changes. You don’t let FUD control your actions. You hodl long-term until the moment is precisely right.

Etymologically, there’s some debate as to whether HODL came from a “Hold” typo or is an acronym that stands for “Hold On for Dear Life,” but regardless of its origin, the reasoning still stands.

That’s all we have to teach you, for now. But this is just the start of your studies, and you’ve already shown yourself to be a promising pupil.

Go forth, knowing that your Crypto Fu is strong.

Unfortunately, as your crypto sensei, when I eventually turn evil, it will be up to you, my most powerful student, to defeat me.

Premium Market Report

Coinbase Cloud integration with Kiln democratizes ETH staking ☁ 🪙
Source: Blockworks

📃 Summary:

☕️ Our Take:

Crypto 101

SNAP Volatility: This considers the amount of uncertainty or risk associated with the size of a stock or digital asset’s changes in price.

SNAP volatility is usually calculated over a period of time, not an instance, and that volatility is expressed as the standard deviation of that stock or asset’s daily rate of returns.

The Last Sip

The Last Sip: Unofficially, Deutsche Bank may have chosen to partner with Taurus over Scorpio because all of Deutsche Bank’s exes were Scorpios. They were hot, and they were passionate, but they were toxic.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.