Sometimes, the help we need comes from the unlikeliest of sources.

Whether that’s a Hail Mary pass in the fourth quarter or Gandalf charging down that slope in the battle of Helm’s Deep, our saving grace arrives when we need it most.

And after years of regulatory uncertainty and posting its first losses in six months, Bitcoin’s savior may be arriving in the form of a new bill.

More in the deep dive.

Espresso Shots

☕ Crypto Funding Fentanyl? 🤔💊

Senator Elizabeth Warren believes that crypto is funding the Chinese fentanyl industry.

Warren’s claims were backed by the Senate Banking Committee using data from a research firm which indicated that over 90 Chinese businesses were shipping fentanyl precursors in exchange for crypto payments.

Warren believes that her Digital Asset Anti-Money Laundering Act which will soon be reintroduced to congress will help combat these harmful crypto payments as well as digital money-laundering in general.

“Crypto is helping fund the fentanyl trade, and we have the power to shut that down,” said Warren. “It’s time.”

This legislation could also spell trouble for HeroinCoin, OPIUM tokens, and the decentralized autonomous organization, OverDAOse.

☕ Binance Unclear on Layoffs 💼❓

Reports that Binance has been considering massive layoffs, as much as 20% of its staff, have been officially denied by the company.

Though that figure has been denied, Patrick Hillman, Binance’s chief strategy officer, said that Binance intends to “streamline” in the future.

“Streamlining” is of course just corporate jargon for layoffs. Though Hillman seems to indicate that Binance had already been streamlining.

“We have regularly gone through a talent density audit and resource allocation exercise every six months or so,” said Hillman.

Ah yes, a “talent density audit” aka the Employee Hunger Games.

☕ SBF’s Bahamian Charges May Be Dismissed ⚖️🫢

In accordance with honoring Bankman-Fried’s extradition, the U.S. court may have to throw out the former FTX CEO’s criminal charges in the Bahamas.

When he was initially arraigned, SBF faced up to 115 years in jail for international, financial crimes related to money laundering, illicit political donations, and his company’s implosion.

But that number could change substantially if the Bahamas no longer wants to play ball.

It will ultimately be the island nation’s decision as to whether or not to proceed with the newer fraud and conspiracy charges against SBF, but bringing newer charges against him is entirely in keeping with the two nations extradition treaty, again, only if the Bahamas does not object.

Though, if the Bahamas drops the ball on this one, it will be the greatest miscarriage of justice since the Baha Men wrongfully released all those dogs in 2000.

Spilling the Beans

The Bill That Could Save Bitcoin 📝🇺🇸

It’s not just Bitcoin that’s been in trouble, but all of crypto in America.

And why? Because of the SEC’s unclear regulatory stance on crypto.

It’s not just hurting the crypto industry, but damaging America’s own sense of its entrepreneurial spirit.

We’re seeing widespread cryptocurrency adoption on an international level.

And yes, the United States was home to a fair number of the major exchanges and crypto companies, but our uncertain regulatory climate has been scaring off the industry.

As Americans watch from the sidelines as the EU passes major overhauls such as MiCA, the Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation, which provided clear guidelines for Europe’s burgeoning crypto industry.

It’s hard for the U.S.A. not to feel like we’re being left in the dust, being on the forefront of innovation has become deeply entrenched in our national identity.

Why is it, then, that the United States is still so backwards when it comes to cryptocurrency?

Well, a five-page, bipartisan bill from Rep. Tom Emmer (R-MN) and Rep. Darren Soto (D-FL) intends to remedy that by clearing up the regulatory confusion around crypto.

The bill, entitled the “Securities Clarity Act,” would establish that digital assets sold in investment contracts would not constitute securities, and would not need to be registered as such.

And it’s not that this bill is introducing any mind-melting or groundbreaking new policy, what this bill is providing is clarity.

Crypto has long been misidentified as a security when in actuality, digital assets should have been falling under investment contract regulation all along.

And the unregistered securities charges against Kraken or the ongoing case against Ripple have become a foggy battleground that desperately needs the clarity this bill will provide.

The Hinman speech, given by William Hinman, the 2018 SEC director, patently stated that cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum are not securities.

But despite frequent references to the SEC’s once abundantly clear crypto outlook, Gary Gensler, the SEC’s current head, has persecuted crypto companies at the expense of the industry’s potential.

Brian Armstrong, the CEO of Coinbase who has one of the biggest dogs in this race, likened his country’s missing out on crypto to poo-pooing the advent of the internet.

“Crypto, like the internet before it, has the potential to modernize finance and numerous other sectors, from supply chains to social media, by offering a faster, cheaper, more private, and accessible platform,” said Armstrong.

If this bill passes, it may finally stop America from missing out on the financial equivalent of the dot-com bubble. But of course, in this case, hopefully no bubble.

It’s high-time that American lawmakers were able to shake the SEC cobwebs off their heads and cross the aisle to give all of us, crypto giants and independent investors alike, some definitive answers.

This bill may not just save Bitcoin… it may just save… America.

Or of course, we could continue to debate policy and regulation for decades to come. We want to be optimistic, but regulatory indecision is also as American as apple pie.

But this bill may be that slice of cheddar that makes a dry, substandard piece of diner pie, weirdly tasty.

We’re all hoping to tuck in soon.

Meme of the Day

We believe she is currently looking for the power plug to the blockchain… 🔎

Crypto 101

Consensus Mechanism: Much like the root word of this protocol, “Consensus,” this function relies on a multi-user agreement on the status of a ledger.

In other words, this can be any method that is used to achieve agreement across a decentralized network.

You’re probably already familiar with the two most common consensus mechanisms, Proof of Work and Proof of Stake.

The Last Sip

You thought we were out of opioid-themed crypto puns, didn’t you? Nah, here’s three more we had on the back-burner.

• Narcan Fungible Tokens

• Oxy-Coin-Done

• Coin Free-Base

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.