Australia. It’s got beautiful people, white sandy beaches, and diverse and interesting wildlife. 🦘

It’s also home to some of the scariest animals you can imagine. From “NOPE” spiders to snakes so deadly they can kill you three times over, Australian wildlife is not to be trifled with.

But there’s one Australian predator more dangerous than any other. And we’ll tell you all about it during our safari through the news of the day.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Is Gensler Gone? 🔥 🏦

Rep. Warren Davidson has announced that he intends to introduce legislation that will remove Gary Gensler from his post as chairman of the SEC.

The “long series of abuses” that Davidson invokes is most likely referring to the fact that Gensler has been wielding his regulatory body like a weapon.

He’s been particularly active against crypto, filing constant lawsuits against Coinbase, Ripple, Kraken, and several others.

But Gensler’s announcement last Friday that he would modernize the rules that define an exchange was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Gensler’s intention has drawn the ire of famously pro-crypto SEC commissioner Hester Peirce and now has the U.S. House of Representatives beginning to put together a plan to have him removed.

To fire Gensler, much like any house elf, the House of Representatives will have to present him with an article of clothing.

☕️ The SEC Case Against Bittrex 🚨 ⚖️

But before Gensler can be removed, he’s going to keep at his favorite hobby: suing crypto exchanges.

The SEC is charging Seattle-based exchange, Bittrex, for violating securities laws.

The lawsuit alleges that Bittrex committed securities violations by failing to register as a broker-dealer, exchange, or clearing agency with the SEC.

Based on this framework, the SEC estimates that Bittrex technically made $1.3 billion in illegal revenue between 2017 and 2022.

It should be noted that Bittrex already voluntarily decided it was shutting down American operations last month because it was no longer “economically viable” to function as a crypto exchange in America.

But that’s not good enough for Gensler who said in a press release:

“Today’s action, yet again, makes plain that the crypto markets suffer from a lack of regulatory compliance, not a lack of regulatory clarity,”

He went on,“Today we’re holding Bittrex accountable for its non-compliance.”

Gensler has also reportedly subpoenaed a stick so that he can continue to beat this dead horse.

☕️ Shaq Served! 🏀 🚔

Shaquille O’Neil has been served papers in the lawsuit regarding his promotion of FTX.

The Moskowitz law firm in charge of holding FTX’s celebrity endorsers accountable actually had the hardest time serving Shaq. Process servers spent a week attempting to serve Shaq his papers at his studio in Atlanta, but were waylaid by security.

“Basically, the largest man is hiding from our lawsuit,” said the firm’s Adam Moskowitz.

But on Sunday, Shaq was served on the lawn outside his house and his home security cameras recorded the entire interaction.

Naturally, the papers for Shaq’s summons were four times the size of a Cheesecake Factory menu and took a team of plaintiffs to carry. Also, Shaq’s favorite mug is a bathtub.

Spilling the Beans

Australia's Crypto Crime 🇦🇺

Australia, like my ex-wife, is as beautiful as it is terrifying.

Maybe it’s that Steve Irwin showed us all a little too much in the ‘90s. Animal Planet filled our heads with spiders bigger than your hand and crocodiles lurking in murky water.

But there’s one animal that’s done more damage to Australians than any other this year. It’s vicious. It’s elusive. Its habitat is ever-changing.

This animal is the greatest threat to Australians, but you won’t see them talking about this species on Animal Planet.

And that animal is the crypto scammer.

Australians lost a record amount of funds in 2022 from crypto scams. In total, around an estimated $2.03 billion.

That number is up astronomically higher than 2021, in which Australians were only swindled out of $56.3 million.

Also, just for the sake of clarity, we’re going to be using the equivalent amount in American dollars, not the amount in Australian currency.

I think we’d all like to learn about crypto scams in Australia without having to do a bunch of converting. Anyway.

It’s a disturbing trend and one that seems to be getting worse every year.

And the reason it’s getting worse, is that like any predator that dreams of being on top of the food chain, Australian crypto scammers are evolving.

“We have seen alarming new tactics emerge which make scams incredibly difficult to detect,” said Deputy Chair Catriona Lowe, Deputy Chair of the Australia Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC).

“This includes everything from impersonating official phone numbers, email addresses, and websites of legitimate organizations to scam texts that appear in the same conversation thread as genuine messages. This means now more than ever, anyone can fall victim to a scam.”

And in 2022, 4,000 Australians fell for these scams.

Admittedly, the average victim in these cases was male, lived in South Wales and was 65 or above, but you don’t need silver in your hair to be tricked by a bad actor.

This seems like a good time to go over some basic, online crypto safety.

It would seem that the majority of these scammers are using direct messages on social media such as Facebook and Instagram.

If somebody who you sorta knew in high school messages you offering investment advice, you’d be right to proceed with caution.

You shouldn’t engage. At worst, it’s a scammer who is impersonating them in an attempt to steal your financial information, at best it’s just a run of the mill pyramid scheme.

But if you’re foolishly, determinedly trying to hear them out. The best piece of due diligence you can perform is merely calling them to verify with their actual, human voice.

If they don’t pick up or explain via message that they’re having some technical difficulties? Scam. Major scam. Even if they send audio messages, those can be faked.

And as always, never ever share your recovery phrase with anyone.

There are simple tips, habits, and survival strategies you can employ for even the most dangerous of predators.

It’s okay to camp in bear-infested wilderness if you’ve got bear mace, hang your food up, and brought a tent made of steel.

If you keep our advice close to heart and are wary of scammers, protecting yourself with a couple simple strategies, you’ll be able to trek through crypto’s Outback without fear.

But okay, maybe a reasonable amount of caution. Have you seen those spiders?

Meme of the Day

Gone Gary.

Crypto 101

Broker-Dealer: This is a financial institution that trades in securities for its clients, but may also trade in its own interest.

A crypto exchange would technically be a broker-dealer… if, like Gary Gensler, you've decided there's no difference between a token and a stock.

The Last Sip

In addition to Shaq’s mug and his serving papers, here are some more of Shaq’s comically oversized things:

• In the morning, he squeezes a literal cow over his trough of cornflakes.

• His phone is an iPad.

• His mattress is the first ever “California Emperor.”

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.