Does a remora attached to the underbelly of a Great White shark think it’s the fastest, biggest, most dangerous creature in the ocean?

Sometimes the good fortune of a big fish can mean huge benefits for the small fries.

As Bitcoin surges upwards, will Altcoins ride its currents to warmer waters? Or will Altcoins be condemned to the lowest rungs of the crypto food chain?

Espresso Shots

☕️ Fidelity Prepares ETF 📈💵

The massive American asset manager Fidelity is tossing its hat in the ring as it prepares to file for a spot Bitcoin ETF.

This application follows in the footstep of BlackRock, Invesco, Van Eck, and ARK, all of which have applied for Bitcoin ETFs.

Notoriously, every closed application for a Bitcoin ETF to date has been shot down by the SEC except for the first leveraged futures Bitcoin ETF, which launched on the CBOE BZX Exchange on Tuesday, January 27.

Hopefully, the SEC will regard Fidelity as a serious candidate while simultaneously acknowledging that inFidelity is both sexier and more interesting.

☕️ MicroStrategy All-In on BTC 🪙💼

Microstrategy, a business intelligence company, has purchased 12,333 Bitcoin for $347 million.

This acquisition makes Microstrategy the latest institutional investor to put its chips on crypto, following a trend established by those companies that we mentioned above.

Michael Saylor, the company’s founder, revealed on Twitter that Microstrategy now owns a total of 152,333 BTC worth roughly $4.52 billion.

But this purchase is hardly out of character for Saylor. He’s famously a Bitcoin Bull and began acquiring huge amounts of Bitcoin for Microstrategy back in 2020.

Though going all-in on Bitcoin seems like more of a macro strategy. A micro strategy would be something like developing a boardroom for ants or teaching mindfulness to garden slugs.

☕️ It’s-a-Me, Malware! 👾💻

A Super Mario game making the rounds is infected with Malware designed to empty crypto wallets.

The fan-created sidescroller game is called Super Mario 3: Mario Forever or sometimes just, “Super Mario Forever,” and already has 17 million downloads on Softendo, a website for Mario-inspired gaming.

But more than a blast of nostalgia, this game comes loaded with malicious viruses designed to empty gamers' wallets.

Some of the malware even secretly runs XMR Miner, a Monero crypto-mining program, on users’ computers.

We recommend just sticking to Nintendo games and paying full price years after release.

And honestly, a Mario game loaded with malware should just be called, “Super Wario Forever.”

Spilling the Beans

Are Altcoins About to Boom? 💰 🚀

In November of 2022, we were talking about crypto winter a lot.

Much like the Ice Age, winter in “Game of Thrones,” or the last season of that show, it felt like a nightmare that was never going to end.

But the great thaw has come and sunnier days are here.

Crypto Summer is upon us and there is much jubilation to be had.

The dark days of crypto winter are long gone and crypto is moving to greener pastures full of promise and price hikes.

Crypto Summer (or Hot Bitcoin Summer, as some saucier staff in our office are calling it) is a time to kick back, relax, and stare directly into the sun.

And we have Bitcoin to thank for all this. It was Bitcoin that brought in the TradFi enthusiasm and funds that are fueling crypto summer.

And that fuel arrived in the form of a series of ETF applications and a new exchange, EDX Markets, backed by Charles Schwab, Fidelity, and Citadel.

And Bitcoin’s price has reflected that. Bitcoin hit a year-long high of more than $31,000 on June 23.

And Bitcoin holding steady, just above $30,00, as of writing.

Though Bitcoin may be the herald of Crypto Summer, Crypto Summer’s warm light hasn’t shone on Bitcoin alone, but on all of the altcoins in crypto.

Now remember, altcoins aren’t just the memecoins and weirdness on the fringes of crypto. Altcoins are technically every coin that isn’t Bitcoin.

That includes fan favorites such as Ethereum, XRP, and BNB.

But yes, even memecoins like Dogecoin and Shiba Inu are feeling the love.

As Bitcoin has returned to previous highs, it has taken a good portion of crypto along with it.

And this is a really exciting opportunity for the savvy investor.

It means that you could enjoy Bitcoin-like price hikes with a much lower cost of entry by buying any of the coins mirroring Bitcoin’s trajectory.

The ones we’ve mentioned above, or Solana, Tron, Litecoin, what have you. We’re really not supposed to be investment advice. Legally. And this is one of those times we’d hasten you to DYOR.

And we’re not going to dismiss the chance that one of these coins could even outperform Bitcoin.

Because as TradFi focuses its attention on Bitcoin, new challengers may rise as the denizen of DeFi decide that Bitcoin has become too “old money” for them.

Though yes, it is Hot Bitcoin Summer and these new, positive developments seem to be all about Bitcoin…

It’s getting hot out here.

Bitcoin won’t begrudge the altcoins dippin’ their little tootsies in the pool.

Meme of the Day

Crypto 101

XMR Miner: This is a program designed to mine Monero’s native token (XMR) through a proof-of-work system.

It’s very resource intensive, and not designed for consumer-grade hardware.

In short, it’s certainly not something you want going on in the background while you were just trying to download a fan-created Super Mario Game.

The Last Sip

The Last Sip: In honor of Microstrategy’s macro Bitcoin acquisition, we came up with three more micro-strategies.

3. Convince a family of beetles that a scary monster lives nearby (it’s just a staple remover) and make them pay you protection money to keep them safe.

2. Launch Itty-BittyCoin, the smallest cryptocurrency.

1. Domesticate caterpillars. Sell them as mounts to the family of beetles that you’re extorting money from. Tell the beetles this is the only way they can escape the scary monster (staple remover). The beetles migrate and you move the staple remover to their new home. Rinse and repeat.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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