As Mark Twain once said, “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” Well, we don’t intend to take you to school, but we’re certainly here to educate you.

And as a part of that ongoing effort, you’ll notice a new section in the newsletter between Meme of the Day and Last Sip: Crypto 101.

Every day in Crypto 1010, we’ll fill you in on the who’s who and what’s what of crypto as well as some handy little terms you may need to know!

Espresso Shots

☕️ Alameda Sues Voyager ⚖️ 💰

The now bankrupt firm, Alameda, well-known for its partnership with FTX, is currently suing Voyager Digital, which is also bankrupt, to the tune of $446 million.

Two bankrupt firms suing each other over hundreds of millions of dollars is naturally a bit confusing, so here’s how this all came to be:

Voyager lent Alameda hundreds of millions of dollars before Voyager collapsed in July of 2022. After declaring bankruptcy, Voyager demanded repayment of those loans.

Alameda complied and they repaid the $446 million in loans in September and October… before they too collapsed in November.

As we all know, it later turned out that Alameda never had that kind of money, it belonged to FTX’s customers, and so FTX lawyers are now suing to recover the funds.

The role of any bankrupt firm is essentially to recover funds for the people they owe money to, and FTX’s lawyers are going after every penny they can.

Frankly, we love watching bankrupt firms sue each other, it’s like when dying robots fight even while all their pieces are clattering off.

☕️ Celsius Was Using Quickbooks... 🌡️ 📚

According to a report from a court appointed examiner, the defunct crypto lender, Celsius, was using Quickbooks accounting software to manage its finances.

To put this in perspective, Quickbooks is something you use when you’re a few years out of college and your freelancing business is taking off… it’s not for tracking billions.

This report is particularly fascinating in that it’s not unheard of. In fact, Sam Bankman-Fried and the crack team over at FTX were doing the exact same thing.

A report from John Ray III, FTX’s new wartime CEO, also mentioned that the firm had been using the subscription based software to (poorly) manage funds.

Celsius collapsed in mid 2022, sparked by panic from the Terra Luna collapse. That panic caused a run of withdrawals that Celsius simply couldn’t handle. Sound familiar?

In addition to using Quickbooks, both FTX and Celsius were apparently having employees sign NDAs using Microsoft Paint.

☕️ The First NFT ETF Shuts Down 📉 ❌

Defiance Digital Revolution’s NFT ETF, known as NFTZ, is shutting down. If that sentence hurts your brain, you’re not alone.

Quick review: ETFs are Exchange Traded Funds. They tend to be a collection of a specific type of asset, like NFTs or technology stocks, or natural resources.

ETFs allow investors to take limited exposure to a specific asset class.

In this case, NFTZ, which trades on the New York Stock Exchange, allows investors to take exposure to NFTs without having to go out and try to buy up NFTs on their own.

However, NFTZ never really tried to tie itself to the NFT market, instead it invested in companies who had decided to embrace NFTs rather than NFTs themselves.

When it started up in 2021, co-founder Sylva Jablonski said this project could be, “bigger than the internet.” That turned out not to be the case!

NFTZ truly Defied Digital Expectations by Failing to Revolutionize Anything.

Spilling the Beans

ChatGPT's Crypto Cheat Sheet 🤖 👀

Well, everyone’s been buzzing about ChatGPT. The AI that’s coming for all of our jobs.

No, we’ve heard that one before, but ChatGPT does write with a sophistication that has journalists, copywriters, and even newsletter editors, sweatin’.

So, we thought we’d see how much danger we’re really in and asked ChatGPT a couple hard-hitting questions about crypto.

1. Explain Crypto to me like I'm five years old.

Okay! Imagine you have a special piggy bank that you can’t open, but your parents can put money in it and take money out of it.

They can also give you a special coin that lets you know how much money is in your piggy bank. This special coin is like “crypto” because it’s a secret and only you and your parents know how much money is in there.

And like piggy banks that some people have lots of them, someone can have lots of crypto coins.

2. Can you tell me who Satoshi Nakamoto is?

Satoshi Nakamoto is the pseudonym used by the unknown person or group of people who created Bitcoin, the first decentralized digital currency, and authored its original white paper in 2008.

The true identity of Satoshi Nakamoto has never been officially revealed, and the person or group remains anonymous to this day.

3. Please, help me explain Bitcoin to my mom.

Bitcoin is a digital currency that allows you to send money to anyone in the world, instantly and without the need for a bank or any other intermediary.

It’s kind of like digital cash, but it’s not controlled by any government or institution. Instead, it uses a technology called the blockchain to ensure that every transaction is recorded and secure.

4. What is the biggest argument against Bitcoin?

Lack of regulation and security risks. Bitcoin operates on a decentralized network and is not subject to government regulation.

This can make it vulnerable to hacking, fraud, and other security risks.

5. Can you create 10 catchy Youtube titles for a video about NFTs?

Sure, here are 10 catchy Youtube title options for a video about NFTs.

1. Unlocking the Future: What You Need to Know About NFTs

2. The Rise of NFTs: Understanding the Digital Asset Revolution

3. NFTS 101: An Introduction to the World of Non-Fungible Tokens

4. The Collectible Craze: How NFTs Are Changing the Art World

5. The Art of Digital Ownership: A Deep Dive into NFTs

6. From CryptoKitties to Fine Art: A Look at the NFT Market

7. Investing in NFTs: Opportunities and Risks

8. The Future of Gaming, Collecting and Ownership: The Impact of NFTs

9. Beyond Crypto: How NFTS are Changing the Landscape of Digital Transactions

10. Digital Collectibles: Understanding the NFT Craze and its Potential

Not bad. Could almost pass for a human. Almost.

But we’re feeling pretty secure in our positions. We’ll be watching from our cushy writing jobs as ChatGPT is inevitably used for warfare.

Meme of the Day

Crypto 101

Someone you should know:

Vitalik Buterin- A Russian-born programmer and the founder of Ethereum.

He co-founded Bitcoin Magazine in 2011 when he was just seventeen. He created Ethereum because he believed the Bitcoin platform needed a more generalized scripting language.

And what drove young Buterin to decentralization and eventually creating Ethereum? World of Warcraft. 

“I happily played World of Warcraft during 2007-2010, but one day Blizzard removed the damage component from my beloved warlock’s Siphon Life spell. I cried myself to sleep, and on that day I realized what horrors centralized services can bring.”

That’s a real quote!

The Last Sip

Here are the questions that we weren’t allowed to ask ChatGPT:

• Which is your favorite parent?

• Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

• What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.