We know, we know, it seems a little early to be talking about the New Year when Thanksgiving was just last week.

But it’s well established that once the holiday season starts, we zoom through time and space, accompanied by the dulcet tones of Mariah Carey, before we snap back to reality sometime in January.

That’s why they have to say, “We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!” in one breath. There’s simply no time!

But rather than feeling anxious about the New Year, we’re brimming with confidence, because all signs point to 2024 being the year of Bitcoin.

Espresso Shots

☕️ Not-So-Black Friday for BTC and ETH

Bitcoin rocketed above the $38,000 mark on November 24th while Ethereum was priced at over $2,100, both coins hitting 18-month highs.

The last time either Bitcoin or Ethereum approached these lofty heights was in May of 2022, before the Terra collapse.

Though much like the rest of us, the crypto market barely moved on Thanksgiving, some early buying action on Friday sent the market surging.

We wish we could have covered this story when it was breaking, but on Black Friday, we were too busy breaking through the plate glass window at our local BestBuy.

☕️ Jim Cramer’s New Tune

Jim Cramer, notable crypto-critic and host of Mad Money, appears to have reversed his stance on Bitcoin.

Cramer’s been urging his viewers to get out of crypto, but Bitcoin hitting above $38,000 last week may have rocked his foundations.

“For a while I liked it, then I decided: You know what? The money had been made,” said Cramer on Bitcoin. “But I was premature.”

But premature is putting it lightly. Last December, Cramer warned investors that “It’s never too late to sell an awful position, and that’s what you have if you own these so-called digital assets,”.

Some are already invoking the “Inverse Cramer” strategy in which investors do the opposite of whatever Cramer says.

This has been such a reversal that Cramer’s even considering changing the name of his show from Mad Money to Begrudingly Accepting Cryptocurrency.

☕️ SBF’s Fishy New Look

SBF paid for a haircut at New York’s Metropolitan Detention Center with the prison’s currency of choice… packaged mackerel.

Since cigarettes were banned in the American penal system in 2004, packaged mackerel or “macks”, as well as tuna, have become the go-to prison currency.

It’s no surprise, given SBF’s history, that he’d both intuit and immediately enter the prison’s economy as a day trader… or fishmonger.

SBF may be intending to donate his hair, as well as several pounds of smoked salmon, to support the prison’s ongoing nonprofit, Lox of Love.

Polled Brew

Spilling the Beans

☕️ Why 2024 is the Year of Bitcoin 📈 🚀

We always think it’s a little worrisome when our friends declare that this year is their year.

It seems like an arbitrary time to tell everyone that you’re getting your shit together.

And not to be superstitious, but these kind of year-end resolutions bring to mind a recent, calamitous example.

I can’t tell you how many of my friends expressed their intention to finally lose that weight, quit that job, finish that creative project, or dump that troublesome partner and reenter the dating pool… in 2020.

Whatever intentions they had for the new year, they had no idea that by March 2020, a global pandemic was going to knock the world on its ass.

But enough dwelling on unresolved resolutions of New Year's past.

Because unlike all of those misguided, unknowing 2020 New Year resolutions, we have good reason to believe that Bitcoin’s going to blow us all away next year.

So, it’s with a colossal, superstitious, Woody-Woodpecker-style knock on wood that we announce that 2024 will be the year of Bitcoin.

But it’s not just a feeling, our belief in Bitcoin’s 2024 dominance is backed up by cold, hard analytics.

Analysts at Bitquant, a leading crypto-trading firm, believe that Bitcoin will reach $49,300 by April 2024.

And that’s before the halving.

After the next Bitcoin halving cuts the reward for Bitcoin mining in half, Bitquant predicts that Bitcoin will potentially rally to $84,100.

That’s a whopping 125% increase from the $37,250 where Bitcoin sits at the time of writing.

But Bitquant’s not alone in their bullish estimation.

That same article from the NASDAQ’s Benzinga garnered a list of outlooks from some of the other premier analytical teams, and the predictions look pretty good across the board. 

Bloomberg is suggesting that Bitcoin could blow past $50,000 by 2024.

CryptoNews is predicting Bitcoin at $60,000 to $90,000 after the halving and maybe even $300,000 by 2028.

Standard Chartered currently holds the most bullish outlook of all, with Bitcoin at $100,000 by the end of 2024.

This is the kind of groupthink we like to see.

And naturally, it’s not just the halving, but the uncertain and likely highly profitable, coming wave of Bitcoin spot ETF applications.

We’ve seen predictions that have oscillated between the ETFs being a non-event, and the possibility of billions in new funds entering the DeFi market.

Whatever your stance on the ETFs, it’s safe to say they’re going to have a major impact on the crypto market in the coming year.

In short, our 2024 resolution is to keep hodling Bitcoin and break the bank.

But on a more serious note, our real resolution is to stop waking up naked on strange farms surrounded by blood and chicken feathers.

Crypto 101

DEX: An abbreviation for “decentralized exchange.” 

In a decentralized exchange, users can swap crypto in a peer-to-peer, noncustodial environment without the need for an intermediary.

Uniswap, Sushiswap, and Curve are among the most prominent decentralized exchanges.

The Last Sip

The Last Sip: A slightly less popular trading strategy than the “Inverse Cramer” is the “Inverse Kramer” in which an investor leaves their neighbor alone and doesn’t say anything racist onstage.

Stay Caffeinated,

Coffee & Crypto Team

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.